A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i recently got back with a guy that i've known for years. i fell for him very quickly he was sweet and give me anything i want but here lately he start getting very mad to the point he hit me once and tried to again and keeps threaing to hurt me bad i can talk to who i want but if itsa guy or somebody he dont like he gets mad. i love him i really do and love being with him when hes not like that.i dont know what to do? why do i love him so much knowing he could hurt me bad
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): I dont know what to tell you, but that i know exactly how you feel. I myself am in one of thoes relationships. But you know? its not that easy to tell him what you want from him and what you want to stop. When he has hit you before its not that easy to just talk to him about the problem. You get scared to say how you feel and what you really want.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (23 July 2009):
 Understandably, he's not the only one who can hurt you bad. But being able to is one thing, threatening to, and doing it is different. When he has hit you and threatens to hurt you, he's not someone you need to be around, no matter how much you love him. Love does not include being hit, or threatened or being afraid of who you're with.
Do you understand that as he hits you, threatens you etc. your sense of self, and personal strength is reducing. What guy has the right to damage your self esteem? What guy, if he really loves you would damage it?
Relationships are about two people who choose to be together, not about control. You have the right to do as you choose, but if you violate the relationship he'd have the choice then to leave, or to forgive and you give him the same. Not to control to prevent from what the other person hasn't displayed.
You may love him, but it's time to move on from this relationship. Take care of yourself over what you personally desire.
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A
female
reader, chrissy32789 +, writes (23 July 2009):
 You need to leave him and leave him for good, if you stay with someone who hits you it can lead to more, they always say they wont do it again but they do, and you probly love this guy because he treated you good befor he started hitting you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009): You may not really LOVE him, but the LOVE the idea of him. You just may be comfortable with him and unable to break away since you have known him for so long. You say that you can talk to whoever you want, but it don't sound like it's true. If it's a guy or someone he don't like, he gets mad at you? That's not being able to talk to who you want. It don't sound like this guy does any good for you. He may in the past, but it sounds like things have changed with him. You shouldn't let him have the chance to threaten you. You need to get out of this relationship. It doesn't sound healthy. You WILL find someone else that treats you right. You don't have to be abused or threatened. You may keep thinking that he'll change back to the way he was when he was sweet and all. Maybe you should have a talk with him and let him know that if he keeps up his attitude towards you, you may have to leave him. I don't know why you guys broke up before, but it should've stayed that way . You need to find the strength to leave him before he really hurts you.Good Luck!!!
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A
male
reader, yorkie po-oh  +, writes (23 July 2009):
 cuz when u love someone u love then unconditionally no matter what they do but don't sit there and take shit from him even if you do love him if hes being abusive leave his ass and dont look back
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