A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For about a month now, my bf has been upset over something he doesn't want to tell me. So I, being a girl, am panicking since its been this long and he only told me "I'm in a bad mood today" and then nothing after that....two days ago!!! Like what the heck!?I really like this guy too....and I don't know what to do...back off and see if this is just an act to get me the heck away, move on....etc. But what does anyone think I should do? What would you do in the same situation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): When I was your age I probably would have pestered him to tell me what was wrong...Now with a little more age..well a lot more age, :) I would give him some time and space.
Guys are fairly straightforward and simple, and they usually say what they mean. He may be putting you off, but trying to get to the bottom of it will just cause him to close up more until he is ready to talk about the problem.
It could be a problem at school, a problem with his job, or his parents and he simply doesnt want to talk. Just be a place of peace and refuge for him. Honestly we females arent very good at that. mal
A
male
reader, yunggiant +, writes (7 September 2010):
whatever you do, dont say something like this "Why are you not talking to me?" it can make males angry sometimes when they are being accused of something even if its true or not. Personally i would try to call him and try to hang out and be less of a girlfriend but more of a listner, listen to what he has to say, and ask questions. Make sure to listen tho so you can talk about his responses. Find out why hes upset and then act like a girlfriend again and try to cheer him up.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (7 September 2010):
Hi there. Have you had any arguments with him?
Perhaps he's worried about his school work or some exams coming up soon.
There might be problems in his family (his parents fight a lot or are splitting up), could be anything. Unfortunately, men very rarely open up to anyone about their problems not even their closest mates. Whatever it is, he's probably finding his own way to deal with it, so just leave him be and don't try and analyse everything or tell him what to do. That won't go down well at all. It will make him retreat even further. Also, don't try to force him to talk to you about it. Don't get angry or upset with him, just be patient. Be a true friend.
It's even possible that you are seeing too much of each other. He might feel crowded.
I think give him some space for now, and in the meantime don't try to call him or text him. Just leave it alone.
It's hard to know what's going on in his life without him telling you.
So just bide your time and get on with your own life and see your friends and have fun. But definitely, let him come to you - don't chase him at all. The first move should be by him (not you).
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
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