A
female
age
36-40,
*adness
writes:I don't want to make this long so here's the deal. I met my bf in December of 2005. We have been dating since. In September of last year (2006) he went away to med school in Israel for 4 years. The first year is almost up and it has been one of the worst yrs of my life. I had a lot of other things going on but even though I traveled there once and he came home once, the total amount, in 12 months that we will have seen each other (he'll only be home in September) is about 2 weeks out of 12 months which makes me sick to think about. I have like no money but we know next year will be different because I plan on going there twice, we'll split the cost, and he'll be home once. And no more going for 10 days cuz he needs to study, he now recognizes that he'll have to make time for me if this will work. Now while this sounds all find and dandy, he only comes home in 2 months and it has been 5 already and it is freaking killing me. My poor parents are paying huge bills and im upset and lonely all the time. Does anyone have any suggestions of things I can do, anyone who has gone thru this, any advice, anything??? I would really appreciate this because this sucks beyond anything I could have imagined.....Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): I would completely agree with the previous answer to this question. I am in the same boat as you. My girlfriend is in Ghana and I am in the United Kingdom. She is not wealthy and we know the problems getting to the UK from Ghana is not very easy, ie. even trying to get a 'visitors' visa to visit me for two weeks. Believe it, tried it. I think it will take time. Okay, I thik you have to accept this. I have been keeping in touch with my girlfriend in Ghana using my mobile text, Broadband VOIP and Instant messaging. She has sent me a photo and I have sent her a photograph of me. We really miss each other. I am hoping to go to Ghana next year. I am looking forward to it and hope it will be very special.
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reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 July 2007):
 Where I live, I saw the case of two people who were apart for an indefinite period of time. You know, he was an American citizen who married a Nicaraguan girl, and they were waiting for her resident visa. It took her something like five years to get it. The important point is, they didn't know how long it would take. So, I guess their methods to cope with the distance would be good for you.
First thing is, you need to accept your situation is very hard, and also that he isn't coming home anytime soon and you will not be seeing him often. You'll be lonely if you want him. If you don't accept this, well, nothing can help you. I believe that this acceptance is your real problem.
That said, you need emotional proximity. The internet is a wonderful tool for this purpose. Skype is free. You have the instant messengers with cameras. A VoIP telephone is usually very cheap, too. Written letters are wonderful, because they sort of imply more romance. And, of course, you can visit each other. I suppose this is obvious, and I would hate to sound foolish, but I think this can help. This is how my friends managed. By the way, they are together now.
Hope this helps.
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