| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of one year just moved in with me 3mos ago the problem is he stays in contact with an ex fuckbuddy frequently...He says I'm jealous and he isn't giving up his friendship which is platonic now. anmy feedback?
View related questions:
fuck buddy, jealous, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (9 March 2006):
 I have always wondered why people think that just because they have come into someones life...all that persons past should stop at the door.
He had a fuckbuddy....if he wanted to be deceitful, he could have told you that this person was his best friends fuckbuddy.
Could it happen again....well sure...if he's a jerk he could also be shagging your best friend and her sister. But if you thought he was that type of guy....would you want him. If you trust him...you trust him. If he gives you reason not to....then rethink your relationship.
He has told you that it is now platonic. Can you believe that? sure....fuckbuddies are not the same as a real relationship. The other person has lots of great qualities that you really like....but one or more of that persons qualities is a "deal breaker" that the other would never put up with. (one of mine was as cute as could be, smart, funny...and a drunk...I would never deal with that in someone I was serious about...so when I met a new boyfriend (way back in the day) he stepped aside...no hard feelings...by the time I was free the next time...he had met someone...so did we stay friends...sure I am thrilled he met a girl who really wanted to be there for him...did we ever fuckbuddy up again...Nope...but it COULD happen.)
The more you set rules and push others out of his life...the more it will come around to bite you in the end.
Just so you know...you probably should not resent her...she's probably the one giving him advice about how to keep YOU happy....so if you don't want the frumpy beige sweater for valentines...maybe you should play nice.
(besides...if she knows you and likes you it will also be an extra girlfriend filter...but if your a bitch...she might just spider up and wait to spring something on you. Not because she wants him...but just to save him from YOU)
Honestly...if you are worried, talk to him. But don't dictate who he can and can't see...that's about your control issues and not about his real actions.
Take comfort in that IF he wanted her....he'd be there now. You win...learn to do it with grace.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2006): My gf still keeps in touch with her 6 month fling from many years ago. I don't like it, but she still does it. Alas, they don't do anything together, just talk and joke. My gf tells me how she feels about him, what they did, etc, and in the end, I accept it.
...............................
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (4 March 2006):
 Why do you feel so threatened if he tells you it is a platonic friendship now? I have friendships with ex bf's and my hubby gets on great with them as well! You need to look at why you don't trust him this early on in the relationship, has he given you reason to be so mistrustful?
I can't see what the problem is?!?! If you love and trust him, were is the harm in having a friend of the opposite sex!
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (4 March 2006):
 I wouldn't like that either. If the basis of the relationship was sex and there was no emotional attachment, it could happen again. Did they do this often? Was it once or twice. These are important questions. He should repect your wishes though as long as you're not usually the jealous type and stalk his every move.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2006): I would so hate that - don't put up with it. Sit him down and tell him that you're not comfortable with him seeing this woman. You're jealousy is completely called for. I don't know if I could handle that! If he loves you he will respect your wishes. good luck hun x
...............................
|
