| A
female
,
*andlesatnight
writes: I was in abusive relationship 8 years, lived with him, helped him raise his kids and made him MY WORLD. II finally had to leave. I didn't want to; I needed to. My spirit was gone and my self respect was too.He still wants to be freinds, which I found so hard but because I still love him and we have grandbabies I have with him since they were born (step kids), then we have to communicate and my son considers him his step dad. Well, after the last few months being apart, he still made a way to me for sex and I gave in. I loved it with him. I love him still, we just couldn't get along. I TOLD HIM I cannot have sex with him for the wrong reasons. He said OK and he says I told him no whichh e thought I would never do. I did. I am trying to get my self respect back. It's hard as to bad as it was, I still love him. I thought is it possible he realizes I am worth loving, and he may come to his senses? I don't know anything else to do. The thought of him being in bed with anyone eles makes me sick. I hate to say no but I did it as I had to save my spirit. I was emtionally abused, not valued and he always had things his way. I tolarated it because I wanted to be with him. Please don't tell me I am crazy; I am in thearpy and I am learning to have a life with out him, bettering myself for me and my son. Just wish he would love and value me, like he once did, before I gave up so much to come live with him.
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, candlesatnight +, writes (4 March 2006):
candlesatnight is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni just want you to know i apprecaite your sincerity in your answer. I apprecaite you making me feel validated as you explained to me and i found your words to make me feel its going to work out for me, and although its sincerely hard at times i know there is a better life then i had settled for. thanks, warmly, candlesatnight
A
female
reader, emma1 +, writes (4 March 2006):
hiyaq chick,it really seems that this guy totally used you 4 sex,sorry to put it bluntly but its the truth.u sound nice and deserve better than this moron!!!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2006): My heart goes out to you. No man who abuses a woman cares, hun. I think you know already it's best to cut off all contact with this man. No sex, no talking, no friendship-nothing. Having him in your life was short changing your progress to healing. Love is warm, balanced, good and each person feels good about themselves. Worship is the 'centering of one's life" on a person who justifiably didn't deserve it. Perhaps tou worshipped overly much without relaizing that you deserved sooo much better. You gave up so much of 'your inner self in the hopes that this man would love you. Men who are this selfish..cannot love, they are broken inside. You need to stay strong and stay on course. You are breaking free and beginning a new life for you and your son. Be proud of your perseverence and you willpower..to keep going. It makes no sense in trying to allow him to worm back into your lives without commitment and action to change, because you know what you will endure, in the future with this man. Emotional abuse not only hurt you but your son as well. Think how terrible it is, for little ones to see and hear the adults in their lives behaving so out of control. Fighting, hurting, lashing out.
Look ahead with a more empowered, positive attitude. You are in therapy, and helping yourself heal. Good for you! You will get to the point where you can move ahead and leave these past years of emotional abuse and find someone you can really love. There are many wonderful men out there looking for a good, confident woman who will be friend, lover, and life-mate. Please, make sure you don’t make a habit of choosing men who don't know how to love. How will you know these men? Don't worry, hun- you've paid your dues,you learned, you became smarter...you will know.
...............................
|
