A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My now ex boyfriend I was with for 4 years. We was each others first loves.I fell in love with this guy knowing he was super stubborn.So now that we have spilt I have relised how bad he treated me!He was very arguementive, and started arguements over nothing and then switched it to make me feel like it was me and i always ended up apologizing. When arguements got serious he would dump me. He dumped me on my birthday and irgones me when we fight. I was the one always trying to fight for our relationship because I truely loved him.He always claimed to love me but i dont understand how you can breakup with someone you love so may times and allow her to be heartbroken.He was super stubborn and never aplogized for anything and called me a number of names. It got to the point where I felt I was walking on eggs shells cause when he was always a angry he was a nasty personnn.I throught he would grow out of his anger problems. He never wanted to pick me up from work, never wanted to do stuff as a couple, never wanted to get to know my family, was nasty to my friends. He had no consideration of my feelings and when I told him that hes hurt me he told me to talk to a friend about it cause he doesnt care!! He spent most of his time drunk and angry with me, mainly over nothing. Like he always seemed to find a reason to be mad at me.I was crazy in love with him, and still am. We broke up 2 months ago cause of a fight.. He ingored me like usual and I just throught it was one of his mood swings. But two weeks later he finally picked up the phone to me and said he doesnt love me no more. That i am not the girl he fell in love with :(..As I am in love with him i begged and cryed for ages. I know i deserve better. but its just i dont understand his mood swings and how you can be so nasty to someone you claimmed to love once. He dumped me by text. I thought he would be nice enought to say it to my face.A few days before we spilt he was telling me how he wanted to marry me.. its crazy how i fell in love with him and how can you treat someone like he treated me.He was a emotional bully to me sooooo why do I feel nothing but love for him :( x
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broke up, drunk, fell in love, heartbroken, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): ~CONFESSION~
I am the individual who posted the reply to you question where my reply opened with ~THERE ARE BETTER FISH IN THE SEA~
I am sooooooooo very in denial and I'm still in love with the individual and not strong enough to not put the safety, welfare and happiness of the individual and the individual's children before myself.
I communicated with the individual tonight and I do not regret it. This was the first time in nearly 4 months that we communicated and I am now floating on the highest cloud that has ever been brought to me because they are safe and well. I cannot express how much knowing this has lifted me from depression.
I asked the individual if she would telephone me tonight and the individual replied, "I don't know," and I sincerely accept that and respect it, something I failed to do for the individual in the past.
I am able to come completely clean tonight. I was equally abusive to the individual as I've been coming to learn by reaching out to this site and ultimately by being blessed by the individual tonight.
It has benefited me that the individual me. It's allowing me to be a better person.
~Dear Soul, My One and Only Sweet and Sassy Fresh and Feisty Spoiled To The Core Spunky Punkie Monkey~
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): ~THERE'S BETTER FISH IN THE SEA~
Been there, Grew wiser, Grew stronger and blessedly happier.
Immediately discontinue all contact with him.
He's not worth the pain nor wasteful hassle.
It will be difficult detaching from the dysfunction.
~NO PAIN, NO GAIN~
Do You.
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 Yes, he was bullying you - and thoroughly enjoying it, sorry to say. You allowed him to get away with it.
The first time he dumped you should have been the last time. When it ends, it ends. No "if's" "and's" or "but's". By that time it gets to a breakup you've either already attempted to resolve the problems, or you've given up.
He is just plain nasty (as you already said) and doesn't deserve your love or consideration.
Have more respect for yourself and forget about "loving" him!
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A
male
reader, LostOneTwoMany +, writes (8 November 2010):
 Because for 4 years all you knew was that kind of love, some other people may say that was not love, but humans are different. This was his way of showing love, as hurtful & unsupported as it was. In my opinion you need to stay away from this relationship. You also need time for yourself now, you have a ton of healing to do. Don't jump into a new relationship ether, remember all you have known for 4 years is this guy. So when a “good guy” comes along you'll put him out, your programed right now to take abuse. This is why you need time to heal yourself, so that when you meet a new person you don't have the baggage of this unhealthy relationship.
This is your chance to start over, let time heal you. Try to forget, prepare yourself for a new relationship when you are ready. Good luck, hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, MoonLux +, writes (8 November 2010):
 I'm so sorry he put you through everything that he did - and that's saying the least there! You seem like you have a great head on your shoulders, and you recognize that you deserve better. Can you go with that instinct instead of running around in circles in your mind about this guy who doesn't know how to love you properly, much less be a mature adult and break up NOT via text?
You sound like you've got so much love to give and you deserve for that love to be reciprocated. Give yourself time. I think you'll realize that you have to love you first (who else will?) than that person will come along and treat you the way you should be treated.
Good luck and keep strong!
xoxo
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