A
female
age
30-35,
*shleyyy
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and I love him with every beat of my heart, he's amazing, he's everything a girl wantss in a boyfriend, I'm 19 I work part time every day, he doesn't work nor go to school, I brought it up to him once and he became emotional telling me his parents don't have the money for school and after that talk he went to look for jobs at car places then stopped. He doesn't sleep at night, he always sleeps during the day. He's lazy and admits it, it just sucks, I always hear it from my parents, I don't know what to do, I really love him. He's like my other half, I would be lost without him, I'm just confused. Please help? I'm gonna talk to him tonight, I don't know if I should break up with him (last thing I wanna do) or not? I'm a mess..
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (19 November 2008):
 Well to coin a phrase...If he's lazy he isn't EVERYTHING a girl wants. The guy in your life really needs to get focused and find a job. He perhaps lacks the ambition to further himself and could need a good jolt! If you have been encouraging him and he can't quite get himself together to find a job he should seek other help.
There are many places that can help in locating jobs. Keep encouraging him for it seems you really care and who knows that might be what he needs most of all to get him going. :)
He can check newspapers, magazines, State Department of Employment facilities. There are also temp services which can be located in the Local Telephone Book. Other organizations are Easter Seals, Rehabilition Clinics who can help in case of medical conditions, either physical or other.
Do remember that he is young and although working would be better he may not have the capable skills to do any particular work and might be discouraged by this. There are job training programs out there too. Since you have access to the internet you can locate them by typing in Job Training in your particular area.
Try not to be harsh but let him know that you think he should find a job. Tell him how you feel about him and let him know about the attributes you think he has. If he has a low self-esteem he can be less interested in working because he doesn't think he can do the jobs he applys for. This would make him reluctant to even check them out or apply.
In case he is going thru alot of stress at home, it can be affecting his ability to cope, thus causing depression. Since he doesn't work or go to school depression is a concern also because it can affect sleep patterns and emotional wellness.
Your parents are looking after your best interest. They could be correct in their assumption however if your boyfriend is otherwise ok, I would think that something is truely amiss here. If he treats you well and is respectful to your parents and his then something could be going on that is causing him to become withdrawn and unsteady. Confused and depressed. Since I don't know more about the young man it is hard to know just where he is emotionally.Something is definantly causing this disfunction in his life.
One thing for sure, if it's depression, or low-self esteem, if it's laziness or a form of rebellion....it's not good and it is damaging his life. Only he can decide what he is willing to do but you can try to keep encouraging him. As far as your parents they are more experienced and they are worried about your wellfare. Don't be to hard on them and try to understand that it isn't easy being a parent and they have already been a teen. Perhaps you can even talk them into talking to your boyfriend and encouraging him /helping him to find a job.
If your young man is for the most part a great guy and every girls dream then I pray that he gets the help he needs so he can live it fully.
Sometimes all that someone needs is a loving and caring friend. Sometimes it can make all the difference in the world.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): Firstly, I think if you were on track before him you'll be okay without him. Secondly, since I'm going to assume you live in the U.S. from your flag, he can get something called financial aid! You're parents are right. He is lazy, and even though you love him you'll have to come to a point were you say "Do I want him to stay, or pay the light bill." Should you break up with him? It depends do you want financial security in your future or a man who sleeps while your hard at work. That's my opinion, I hope it helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 November 2008):
I think you need to kick his arse a bit.
It's all very well him sitting there in his little puddle of self pity but what you need is someone who can pay his share of the bills.
What is he living on now?
Tell him that you will help him to find a job but he has to find one because you will not stay with a guy who wants to sit around on his backside all day and night getting fat and sponging off others to live.
Tell him that he needs to find a new job or a new girl friend. His choice.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, MissUnique +, writes (19 November 2008):
 I don't think you have to break up with him. Just try and get through to him by talking. Plead with him that you want the relationship to work and he needs to try and help. Tell him if he doesn't want to help it work, then maybe you do need to break up.
Treat him like he's got jetlag to get rid of the irregular sleeping patterns. Ask him what he wants to be. I don't know...some jobs don't need any special qualifications and you learn as you work too.
...............................
|
