A
female
age
36-40,
*tmae
writes:ok so my boyfriend and i have been dating for about 4 months. He is really sweet to me most of the time other than doubting me. Always thinking im gonna leave or do something behind his back.even went as far as to ask my fellow employees what kind of person i am. I have never gave him a reason to doubt or distrust me . He asked if my friends were trying to hook me up with other people.tryed going through my phone and computer .thing is i have tryed being sweet and reasured him numerous times . His exscuse is ive been hurt. WELL ok WHO HASNT ? So have i . I dont do well with controlling jealous and nosy . I am independant so i think maybe that scares him because i make ok money and take care of my 2 kids by myself . He worries he doesnt have much to offer but i have explained that i just want him . Im not gonna become less independant because he is insecure . I have gone from being nice about it to telling him my name isnt theirs.anyone else have this prob
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female
reader, ktmae +, writes (22 August 2012):
ktmae is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for your answer but i figured out tonight what was going on with him. I havent done a single thing to prevoke this behavior . Apparently there was more going on in his life than he wanted to share with me . He is suppose to be on meds for bipolar and i didnt know till tonight when he broke his sisters car window because she wouldnt leave her bf because he says he doesnt treat her right.then he told me his ex had him hospitalized for the same things and his mom is tonight said that she wished he would just stop talkin bout suicide and do it . This must be something that runs in the family . Im so sad cause i really care for him but i cant put my kids in this situation.im so sad.i just pray god helps him i dont want anything to happen to him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2012): Very simple. Relationships are work. You are 26-29 w/ children and still haven't figured this out yet?! The world doesn't revolve around you. Why are you with this guy? Define that and then decide if he is worth the effort.
If he is worth it then work with him to overcome his insecurity. If he is not...then dump him.
If you want a more textured response, then consider your own behavior and why it is evoking this type of behavior from him.
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A
female
reader, ktmae +, writes (17 August 2012):
ktmae is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe has also accused me of sneaking off to the bathroom to use my phone while we were in the movie theater . I finally blew up at him about it . Told him i dont need someone who feels they need to check my every move . I wont stop seeing my friends or being myself just as i would exspect from him . He always talks about moving in together but for one it has only been 4 months and two i feel like he only wants it to so he can keep an eye on me . Really frustrating cause i really like him but i am not sure if i can do the insecure thing . He gets mad when i get upset about his doubts and he also said he does better when i tell him what to do as far as anything goes . Am i wasting my time here ? I dont need anouther child to raise . . . .
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