A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:am inlove with my boyfrend but he is over protective,he thinks every where i go am going to cheat on him.however he once found out that i cheated on him and now things are complicated coz i dnt do what i want,now coz of the love that i feel for him i satisfy him by staying at home at all times during my free hours.i just dnt know what to do to gain his trust again.pls help me out. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks your advises and i hope it will work!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): He's just protecting himself.
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A
male
reader, Stew18  +, writes (7 March 2010):
Not a good situation. To be honest that is the worst thing you could have done. He isn't being overprotective at all, he's protecting himself. You betrayed him and you are lucky to still be with him... If you really love him you'll make some sacrifices.
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A
female
reader, Auntie E  +, writes (7 March 2010):
 This guy is seeking to control you. This is never a good idea. Relationships like this can also turn violent once you start resisting his attempts at conrol. Proceed with caution.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): I don't think your boyfriend is over protective. I think he is insecure and is having trouble trusting you, because you cheated on him before. This is a tricky situation to be in, as there is no easy solution or quick fix.
Why did you cheat in the first place? Have those issues been resolved, or at least discussed with your boyfriend? Does he know why it happened? If you are sorry for what happened, and would like to carry on being with your boyfriend, then I think the best thing you can do is reassure him of how you feel, and that you made a mistake but would like things to get better between you.
I don't think there is any easy answer. He may always remain distrustful of you. Or hopefully, you may both be able to put it behind you and move on. I understand you staying at home to try and keep him happy, but that isn't a practical solution. Maybe if you go out, you could let him know when you expect to be back, and stick to it. Try not to give him any reason to get suspicious. This may take time, but hopefully, if you give him no reason to think otherwise, he may start to trust you again. Talk to each other about how you are feeling too, as communication is important.
But if he can't learn to trust you again, it will be difficult to maintain the relationship, as a relationship is based on trust. I hope things work out well for you both. x
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