A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am not sure what to do.I am someone who likes to get myself involved in a lot of activities and partially due to my university projects, I do have commitments and projects in the night time, resulting in the decrease in time I have to spend with my boyfriend. He is not being very understanding and would often kick in and make a big fuss about it. Now every time I have meetings in the night, I would be very afraid to let him know and try my best to push everything away for him. This resulted in me losing all the fun I used to get. I feel like I am not being who I used to be.I do love him a lot and want to be with him as much time as possible. What should I do? I tried to speak with him but all he tells me is he can't control his temper coz he really wants to spend as much time with me as possible.What else can I do? Is it true that after you get into relationship, you must give up a lot of things you used to do?
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male
reader, Aech135  +, writes (7 January 2009):
 Although I wouldn't go as far as barging into my girlfriends activities I can definitely understand his frustration. In my opinion he either feels like he's not spending enough time with you and wants some attention and to feel like he's the most important thing to you or he's feeling insecure and can't but wonder what could possibly be going on when he's not around. At least that is probably how I'd feel if I was unhappy with the amount of time I was spending with my gf. You could try getting him to help you with the projects since it's apparently time he wants to spend with you he should be free to help you with what your doing which (at least if it were me) should make him feel like his ideas are important to you and you like having him around and value his help. Pushing everything away from him will probably just make him feel alienated and like you have things to hide from him which would probably make him suspicious. That's my suggestion anyway although someone with more relationship experience may have a better idea.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): Why not pick an activity that you can do together? Or see if theres one that you do already that he might enjoy.
You shouldn't have to give up anything thats important to you for a relationship but it is true that they take work. If he feels very strongly and you feel the relationship is worth it then perhaps do see if there is anything that you can drop - spend an evening a week in with your boyfriend instead. But don't let him make you do anything that you don't want to.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): Okay well firstly i think you need to sit down and talk to your boyfriend. He needs to understand that the meeting you have are important to you and your university grades.
You do have to give up time for your boyfriend but going out together and doing activities should be something you both enjoy doing.
Try to get him involved in what you are doing outside of the relationship. I'm not sure what you used to do to have fun but bring it back and invite your boyfriend along. Go out clubbing or go to the beach.
What your boyfriend needs to understand it that university plays a big part in your life and so does he but university will not always be there but you want to make the most out of it and get the grades you need to have a good life with your boyfriend
Hope this helps
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