A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:For the last month I have been sleeping with my best friends boyfriend and I don't know how I feel about it. I know that sounds weird but I honestly don't know if its just sex or something more.In my mind I have separated the guy I'm sleeping with from the guy who is dating my best mate, but at the weekend after chatting to his friend (who knows) he said that my friend deserved it as she is a rubbish girlfriend, always belittling him and taking digs, and that they have stopped sleeping together. He has been unfaithful to her in the past so I am under no illusion that I am in anyway special but I am so confused. I know I should just walk away but I don't meet guys who are interested very often. He texts me almost everyday and I feel so comfortable with him.I know I am a horrible person, but I don't honestly know if I can do the right thing. I'm so confused. Can anyone help, without just telling me what I already know?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): I just thought I'd give you a little update as I posted this question 18 months ago.
It didn't end, and I started sleeping with his best mate as well, who I did have genuine feelings for. That ended badly when he wanted it to be kept a secret and I was sick of keeping secrets.
Long story short, I moved away. The affair with the boyfriend didn't totally end however until earlier this year when I met someone special. I now get what some of you guys were talking about, the guy who was right for me being out there. The truth is I didn't respect myself last year, and just as I was gaining more confidence from not being around these people, look what happened. I'm in love, and possibly more importantly, with someone who loves me back.
My friend and her boyfriend are still together.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 Write a letter to your best friend seeking her forgiveness for what you have done.
Tell her that you did not have any evil intentions towards her but was cheated and tricked by that SOB.
Good luck to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): I know its hard and i dont know what to tell you i dont know what you should do but im going trough the same thing right now but about two weeks ago we got caught and i lost my best friend and fell in love with him at the same time,the sad part is we were all best frinds not just me and her but him too,good luck i know its hard.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): I agree with everyone else...how would you feel if she was doing this to you. I lost my best friend, because i found out she was doing the exact same thing to me...i will never be able to trust her again, she has tried to be in contact with me but i just cant bring myself to look her in the face knowing she took me for such a fool. If she had told me what was going on, i would have a bit more respect for her, but she didnt, my boyf (now eX) told me what had been going on! i felt like such an idiot...it isnt a nice feeling. And the guy is a scum, once a cheat always a cheat in my eyes!!! Please tell your friend u have to, girls stick together...it isnt worth losing her! Good luck chick, hope whatever decision you make is the right one...xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): Sweetheart I don’t get this she is your best friend … how can his friends say she is a rubbish girlfriend if he hasn’t been belittling her to them, cant you see what this man is doing here? So what if right now there isn’t to many men that are interested in you, is that worth sleeping with your BEST FRIENDS boyfriend and just being another accomplishment for this guy? If he speaks about your friend like this and what is he saying about you? And you say you know you are nothing special to him so why do u want this at all why would you not want to be something specials to someone hasn’t anyone ever told you that you deserve a man who can love and honour you, not some dude whose gona pull up his zip and hall you a slut, don’t be stupid and screw up a good friendship and yourself, yet yourself a vibrator if you have urges angel I promise that the only difference between a vibrator and a man is that the vibrator wont be able to buy you a drink …. We are woman and we don’t need to be begging or stealing someone else’s, tell your friend the truth about this guy be honest about when where and how it happened (or that’s what I would’ve done) tell her what he said them and her , and maybe if you lucky she will forgive you, but being honest will only take this weight if your shoulders as you and I both know that you are playing with fire and that you are going to get hurt… you will find that man who will adore your body carry you on his hands and make love to you like only your true love could, but don’t let this man ruin your life cause that is what he is doing …
Please keep us posted
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female
reader, pastfirst  +, writes (7 January 2009):
 Sorry, but I have to question your moral values.
What kind of best friend are you? You don't even know if you CARE about him, but you're still sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend!
HE sounds like a scumbag. Don't make excuses by saying that she doesn't treat him well. HE obviously DESERVES it but why does he stay with her if he has no respect for her?
If you want to have a minimum of self-respect, stop behaving in such a degrading manner.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): okay then girl to me it just sound like this guy is just using you to get back at your friend, i cant believe you let him run over you like that,believe me you and i know sex to us women goes a long way, i mean emotionally, mentally etc, unlike boys unless if you know how to separate sex and relationship,
this well definately end badly for your,take my advice walk away with that little dignity you have got left,and not meeting guys who are interested in you it is definately a lame excuse,get yourself a better,even if its not today,
good things come to those who wait
regards tumi
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): You should definatley consider your friends feelings on this..Is being with him worth losing your best friend over? Not to mention, knowing that he's slept around with other girls in the past, you shouldnt think your any different. You may think that your more to him then those other girls, but you can never be to sure. So don't waste your time on him, he's obviously not worth it. Oh, and if he is talking down about your friend about how they dont sleep together anymore then CLEARLY thats saying something.. Even though guys may not be interested in you, your bound to find someone that fits you.
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