A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My 3rd cuzin and i have met recently and we have fallen for each other.. hard... and last night we found out that were 3rd cuzins!!!!!!!! D: He feels that our likeness for each other is now forbidden but he really wish it wasent. I feel that it shouldnt be forbidden and we should try it. But we both agree it would be weird if it turns out badly. Would he be right not to even try it? What would people say when they found out? Should we secertly date? What should we do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): There is really nothing wrong with third cousins getting together, as Mr Me points out.
Your parents might find it a bit weird at first if they found out, but in the end I don't think they would care.
I have read about second cousins that got married, and they even had the same last name!
I don't think there is anything forbidden about it, and you should be able to persuade him of that.
A
male
reader, Mr Me +, writes (2 April 2009):
 3rd cousins are pretty removed family members. It's no surprise to me that you guys didn't even know you were remotely related. I mean, I don't know _any_ of my 2nd cousins even, let alone 3rd.
3rd cousins are really not even blood related because they are so removed from your direct blood line. In fact, I believe every state it is legal to have intimate relations with 2nd+ cousins, since the blood lines are pretty different. So, legally, it is not forbidden (please check your state law before you take my 100% word on that).
However, the feeling of it being taboo or not is strictly a personal choice here. If he feels uncomfortable with how people would react, then I wouldn't pressure him. I feel he'd be uneasy throughout the relationship worried about other people's opinions. I will be honest and say that plenty of people will be quick to judge if they were to find out that you two are 3rd cousins. There will be many people, though, who will not think anything of it.
My suggestion to you: date if you guys feel comfortable doing it. Don't tell people you're 3rd cousins, but, if they find out, acknowledge that it is correct (don't deny it) and clarify that you're only 3rd cousins and your blood lines are distinct.
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