A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:He and I have been together for almost 3 years. This is not the first time this happens. I can't go to his house and he can't come to mine. We have to pay for hotel rooms to be alone together. I am a college student so I am not working right now. He is not also not working. In the past 3 weeks my father gave me $200 to buy clothes and stuff for my self before I go back to class. I spent it all on buying him food and paying for hotel rooms because his mom went on vacation and left nothing for him to eat. Right now he is pissed off at ME because he is horny and I can't pay for a hotel room. Like if it was my fault. I don't think is my fault. Why can't he just wait. I don't want to ask my father for money or borrow from people. He has his savings accoung but he can't take out a dime for us to get a room. Why do I have to be the one to get the money in this situations. He tries to scare me by saying he will sleep with someone else because he is tired of waiting and I hate that. My point is that I hate when this happens and what can I do how can I deal with it? What do I say to him? How do I deal with this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): He expects you to pay for everything so that he can sleep with you every now and then. Sounds like use and abuse to me. Get rid of this good-for-nothing loser. Why does he never have any money? Why can't he access his savings account? Bull****! Kick him out of your life and get yourself a real man, someone with class and (just a little) cash!
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (26 August 2010):
 This is not the man for you. Sex is not something anyone should get angry about, especially like this. You don't want to have sex with him and think about all the suffering he's put you through for that moment. You've already done more than enough by now to have earned his love and patience. What is he doing to help you? Is he looking for a job? Looking for a way to help pay for his own things? He's disrespected you by threatening to cheat on you when you have been nothing but good to him. So leave him, he does not deserve you.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (26 August 2010):
 I don't understand why you're still with this guy in the first place.
The fact that he's threatening you with cheating should indicate you how low he considers you. He has no respect for you, plus, he is a jerk by making you bring money for his own pleasure. Because obviously, if he wants sex and you don't give him, he can go out and cheat. Easy peasy, means he can also live without you very easily.
This guy has no respect for you, he doesn't love you, he just wants you because you're dumb and you get money from your dad.
And why can't you go to his place and why can't he come to your place? Do your folks not know about this relationship? And why can't he work? Does he have health issues? (because honestly, this is the only good reason for not working, otherwise, he has no excuse).
Because hiding and, in return, spending your father's money on hotel rooms it's not the best way to make a relationship work. You're pretty mature I guess, to handle the situation and take the responsibility of your doings.
If he's treating you like this, you shouldn't be with this guy in the first place.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can't go to his house because his mother dislikes me because she thinks I'm trying to steal him away from her. She is a psycho. He hates her but he was to live their until he has a stable job and can move out.
He can't come to my house because my mother has no job all she does is sit on her and complain so she is always here. I don't even want to introduce him to her because I don't care about her opinion. I don't have my own room. I share with my brother. I'm one of 5.
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A
female
reader, Distant Melody +, writes (26 August 2010):
Wow. This isnt the first time this has happened? Everyone gets a little sexually frustrated sometimes, but he seems about to explode. Why cant you be at each others houses? Never home alone? How long has it been since you last did anything sexual?
Pinpoint is: Hes horny, he wants satisfaction. It doesnt mean he doesnt love you. The fact he's letting his frustration go so far as to say he'll cheat on you is wrong. Dont let him manipulate you to have sex with him so you can be together.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (26 August 2010):
 Why can't you go to each others houses? Hotel rooms are expensive, point out to him your always footing the bill, and you don't even have the money to. There's other places you could go to hang out like Starbucks, the park, library, etc..But if you want to have sex your only option is a hotel room. Unless, either one of you gets a place or lives in a dorm anytime soon then it's not going to get solved...like you said this isn't the first time. By him threatening you saying he's going to go cheat is absolute crap, it shows that its all about sex to him. If he really cared about you he would dip into his savings or be more understanding and wait. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone like that? Tell him he's just going to have to wait, neither of you has their own place, or any $ to pay for a hotel room plus this isn't anything new. If he really is that concerned then he should get a job and start forking over money for a room.
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (26 August 2010):
Honey, you are w/ no doubt in the wrong relationship! he is a bum and to threaten you that he's going to sleep with someone else if you dont? you are the one who needs to wake up and move on.... what a screwed up deal not fun! if i wer'e you i would get a part time job start feeling good about yourself, meet some new people and get away from him. you are letting him drag you down and it is only going to get worse i promise you that! i would also tell him let me find someone for you because you are not going to threaten me again so go do what you got to do im out of here. and you know what he will say to you? im only joking. because he knows you are serious and you are tired of his *hit? dont let some man treat you like that dont you think you deserve better then that? common have some respect for yourself you will see what iam talking about once you do, a whole new world will open up for you. but it wont if you dont let it.
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