A
female
age
41-50,
*adyVioletEyes
writes:My boyfriend and I will be together for 4 years this August, and we have been living together for 2. Prior to dating we had been close friends for almost four years. I thought I knew him pretty well.Recently I went into his phone to text myself (couldn't find my phone) and there were a ton of messages from a girl that he had apparently met on Craigslist.org. I'm not one to snoop, but the subject for the texts were things dealing with sex acts, and unfortunately the texts were both deliveries and responses from him. I confronted him about this, and he initially acted as though he had no idea what I was talking about. He even went so far as to delete the texts when I walked away from him. But finally he broke and told me that he had always been curious about domination and that it was all just dialogue.Now, it's been a week, and we've been keeping an open discussion about this (because regardless it feels as though he has cheated on me, he betrayed my trust). He promised me he wouldn't go to Craigslist or other such sites for that stuff anymore. Well, today I went to check my email on his computer, and guess what? It auto-completed to a posting from craigslist....initially I figured it was from his prior searches. But curiosity got me and I checked his history...it was from Friday....And now I just have no clue what to do. Do I confront him? Do I let it lay and see what happens?
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female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (9 July 2008):
 You're sleeping in a different room? Girl...move. Find another apartment for YOURSELF. Take care of you.
A
female
reader, LadyVioletEyes +, writes (7 July 2008):
LadyVioletEyes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone. I did confront him about this the other night and he initially pulled the old "deer caught in the headlights" routine. He eventually fessed up. He wants help, and I told him if he truly pursues therapy and help with his problem there might be a chance. As for now we are not sleeping in the same room. Thanks again :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): Before you stomp out the door, check out npsupport.net
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A
female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (6 July 2008):
Another painting on the wall with obvious reasons to leave the relationship.
It is obvious what you should do. I understand you care for the liar but you need to protect your feelings. If he's doing this to you now, what makes you think he won't do it to you again if you decide to stay in the relationship?
And yes, confront the guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): Someone below suggested to confront him and if he does it AGAIN to leave. But he already did it AGAIN. So I am not sure how many times she is suggesting you let him do this before you take action. In my opinion, you should leave now. I mean confront him, tell him you caught him the first time, he said he would never do it again, and now he has done it again. He completely lied to you. Tell him its over. You don't want to be with a liar that you can't trust. Be tough.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2008): Humm...
I couldn't understand why hes doing this as you don't state any kind of motive, (I sound like a detective more and more now), and to be honest its not important.
You could use it to your advantage. You could print off copies before he deletes them, and also just keep an eye on it for further evidence before telling him.
Its obviously cheating on you in some form, and just a playboy. Whatever he is, it doesn't matter, you know whats what.
He may not be as trustworthy as you thought and you need to accept that. Hes not worth you, because you deserve someone that will be with you and only you.
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A
female
reader, sxcbabiegal  +, writes (5 July 2008):
 Yes i deffinetley think that you should confront him about this he has obviously broken the trust that you had between you by sending these messages to another women. My ex boyfriend had done the same to me and i did not leave but i wish i had at that point because it just got worse. My advice to you is to tell him that if it continues you will leave and if it does happen again then go through with what you have said do not let him get away with it or he may think its ok to be doing it
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