A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone,I am having a problem trying to decide what to do. To give a little bit of a background, I have always had issues with my body and how I looked. I am pretty tall, 5'10" and have never been a skinny girl. Now, I'm not obese or severely overweight, but in all honesty, I could probably stand to lose 15 pounds give or take. I have a pear shape, small bust and waist, bigger hips, butt, thigh. I am told that I am pretty, but I have never felt it. So, I decided to do something for myself and my fiancé whom I have been with for a year now (we've been friends for going on 5 prior to dating). My friend owns a photography company and offered to have me do a 'sexy' fun photo-shoot. I was really, really nervous to do it, but it did boost my confidence a little bit. A couple days ago the photos were done and she put them in an album and I wanted to give it to my fiancé as a little surprise. I went to his house after picking them up to give it to him, but he wasn't home yet. So he told me to go ahead in. When I got there I grabbed his mail for him, which I have done before, and noticed that one of the packages was from Playboy. I didn't open it, to be honest I was too shocked to do much, but the inside felt like a magazine. I was so embarrassed. How in the hell am I supposed to give him my pictures when he has professional ones right there? I feel kind of stupid now and I am afraid to give him the gift. Those women are sexy and fantasy girls that guys love. This was a pretty hard thing for me to do. Do you think he would still want the pictures of me? Or should I keep them? I haven't told him or talked to him about the Playboy (which I know, I know, is much more tame than other forms of porn). I don't even think he knows that I know.Advice please?*sorry it's long*
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confidence, overweight, porn Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (23 September 2013):
 Yayyy!!! Go you!
Good for you, girl!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys,
Thanks for the extra push. I gave it to him last night and I thought his eyes were about to pop out of his head. He loved them and said the fact that I was able to do something so out of my comfort zone for him was the best part.
Thanks again!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2013): More confidence OP, of course give him your photos,if he doesnt cherish them a million times more than Pb then hes not the guy for you.
In either case get yourself to the gym, work out, eat healthy, buy some cute new clothes, and be proud of yourself. Other people wont value you if you dont value yourself
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 September 2013):
I agree, give him the gift. He'll love it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 September 2013):
I agree, give him the gift. He'll love it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 September 2013):
I agree, give him the gift. He'll love it.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (21 September 2013):
Personally, I think the women in Playboy aren't sexy in any way (usually), so I don't understand why anyone wants it in the first place; waaaaay to fake (not even talking about the boobs).
Let me just say that if my wife did this I'd be in heaven. She's not perfect by any means but I love every single inch of her body. Give it to him (in more than one way!).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2013): I am in your age range and am also the "porn-watcher" in my relationship... since I happen to be female maybe my thoughts on the subject will be a little more credible to you/help you feel a little less threatened by the porn.I love my partner more than anything in the world and have no interest in having sex with anyone else. Porn for me is a tool for those occasions when, for whatever reason, I'm horny but can't get the real thing, i.e. my partner is busy with work, I'm right in the middle of my period or whatever. Actual sex would ALWAYS be my first choice, and I don't *need* the porn to reach orgasm; I just happened to discover while between relationships that the visual stimulation got me turned on quicker than just fantasizing behind closed eyes. I believe this is the case with the majority of men and women who use porn, the exception of course being those who have an actual addiction to porn to the point that it interferes with their sex lives. You are right in that Playboy is pretty darn tame as porn goes so I really doubt your partner falls into that "porn addict" category.Now to the subject of erotic pictures. My partner is not a porn star (although he's definitely hung like one, lol) but if he were to offer me sexy photos of him I would be way more interested in getting off to those than to photos of random naked strangers getting it on. (Sorry if this is awkward, but I'm really trying to take you through my thought process here.)That said, I'm not saying you're wrong to feel hesitant about the pictures, because lots of people regret giving their significant others compromising photos of themselves when relationships later go bad and those pictures end up online or showed off to other people. So unless these are really tasteful photos and/or you REALLY trust this guy, then I'd be cautious for that reason only. But your reservations aren't rooted in that; they're rooted in lack of confidence. They're rooted in "omg, he's going to compare me to these porn women and I can't compete with that." Wrong. You are a real flesh-and-blood woman with real boobs he can grab and a real... um, you get the picture. And trust me, for the vast majority of men, for whom porn use is not part of an addiction, that beats a picture or a computer screen any day. So if you trust your guy, give him those pictures with PRIDE. Confidence is just about the sexiest thing anyone, male or female, can have going for them, especially in bed. Best wishes :)
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (21 September 2013):
Good question! I had to go to my husband for his take. As a female, I can completely understand why you would suddenly feel nervous about giving him these pictures of you! All though I am body-confident, I'd still feel like that's pretty rough competition, getting a new playboy and sexy pictures from your gal in the same day.
My fella first pointed out - "well, she got him a great gift, since he seems to like pictures!", which is a great point. He's visually stimulated! Very good.
My fella goes on, "tell her that she should definitely give him the gift. Playboy, that's all a bunch of airbrushed, photoshopped women. None of them are real. But to know that someone that you KNOW went and got pictures done? And she's his fiancé? So hot. Much hotter than Playboy."
I tried to transcribe as best I could. But I think he's right. Sister, you are REAL and you did this thinking about HIM. The Playboy Bunnies? They are barely real and certainly didn't take pictures thinking of him... no, they were probably thinking about a fat paycheck. And from your man's perspective, it's so much sexier knowing that somebody did something for the pure enjoyment of pleasuring you, than just because it's your job.
I think you're brave and a super cool fiancé. Don't let the Bunnies hold you back!! Good luck!
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