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My boyfriend is immature...will he ever change?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 July 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 21 July 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and my boyfriend of two years have a child. He's 23 and I'm 21 he has another child with a woman out of state. He doesn't work, he's on unemployment and is going to school. It seems as if I'm doing all the work with the baby and with trying to find a job and getting an apartment he has bad credit and a very immature attitude he has good qualities but there jus as much as his bad qualities he's never cheated and I care about him a lot but I don't think I'm in love anymore he never listens he never wants to talk about the problems I have when I feel he's wrong. Our biggest problem is he does things that if I did he'd be mad and angry he's gotta know everything about me I have to answer his questions but when I ask him he never answers there's an unequal development in our relationship that I think is from his immaturity and I'm wondering if this will ever change and if it doesn't and I move on w my child will I ever find love again?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you guys I've decided to end the relationship because we argue wayy to much. The love is forced and not natrual or healthy at all.he still never admits he wrong when he clearly is and I'm tired arguing around my son I don't want my son living in this lifestyle he comes first !

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (20 July 2011):

Danielepew agony auntIt is well known that a 17 year old girl can usually function as a normal human being, while a 17-year old boy just can't do the same, save for those exceptional guys, or exceptional parents, or exceptional circumstances.

It takes some time, but most of us do go beyond that stage when all we care about is the NBA/Nintendo/girls with no strings. Some of us, just don't go on, however. So my answer would be that he could indeed leave that stage behind, but you'd have to wait.

It seems to me that you've had enough, however. It also seems to me that communication isn't working, and either he doesn't see he has to take more responsibility, or he does see that, and therefore he mopes around.

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A female reader, VSAddict United States +, writes (20 July 2011):

VSAddict agony auntMove on. Have you talked to him about this? If you haven't, then do so. But if you have, then move on because he's not taking your feelings into consideration. Communication is important in a relationship and he's not reciprocating it. He also should have enough respect for you to not do things that would upset him if you did them also. You should be able to talk to each other about anything.

So leave him or be with someone who refuses to listen. Why doesn't he have a job? Is he going to school full time? If he's not, then he needs to be looking for one. And if he doesn't, then he can at least put more effort into taking care of his child. Don't let him take advantage of you and your money. Tell him to listen and grow up or he can leave.

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A female reader, luckycloud Viet Nam +, writes (20 July 2011):

MOVE ON! He's not just immature but also stubborn in a very negative way and irresponsible.

you are 21. and he's 23! he's 23, no job, even part-time? still in school? and he himself has 2 kids?

actually I wonder how u can be with him from the beginning?

MOVE ON! and for sure u'll find love again. u r still very young, dear. :)

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