A
female
age
30-35,
*hezbad
writes: Dear Readers, Im 16 and i think im pregnate . "i think". but i think my boyfriend is cheating on me, with some trick, i try and ask him he just gets mad. i dont understand why he wants to or is cheating cause i make love to him almost everynight and whenever hes high and he hungry who does he come to me, and when he's tired and wants to talk and sleep with someone he comes to me and at the end of the night who talks to him and when wants to stays up till 530am when i have work at 9 ME. but i dont understand him, what he needs to do is realize he has someone good and he might lose her . and he 19 like grow up sometimes but im falling out of love with him. i started talking to some person on myspace but he knows i have a man . my "boyfriend" is gonna loose me soon if he dont change is act .can someone give me words of advise and courgement ?
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 July 2008):
You keep saying, me, me, me, me. That's all good, but in a relationship it seems a bit one sided. Stop saying who does he come too. Start saying who allows him to come too. You may love him, but love is not an excuse to allow someone to treat you wrong. Anger generally is a sign of cheating. If he wasn't he wouldn't have a reason to be defensive. He may need to change, and he may loose you, but you need to stop yourself from being so nice to only give him what he wants. What about you? You need and deserve more than what you're accepting. Claim your right and directly tell him where you stand.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): I want to tell you that you sound like such a sweetheart. I know what you are going through. I have had many relationships where my kindness always results in me being taken advantage of or walked all over. I have come to realize after ten years of going through this with many guys that the only reason why this happens is because you let it happen to you. Meaning, we want people to love us and we want to share our love, but your soul purpose of being with someone should not be just to love them - don't loose yourself. If you are unhappy with how he treats you, then do your heart a favour and move on. Dedicate some of that sweetness to yourself and to your friends or family or people who you know aren't going to use it to their advantage. Things that will make you feel better or make it easier for you to move on is doing things you love, exercise, eating well, hanging out with friends who aren't friends with him. Get a manicure or pedicure, do anything that you know makes you feel good without having negative consequences on you. Take care of yourself first and the more you keep focusing on that, the more the good things will naturally follow. I don't want you to go through ten years of it like I did - life is too short and wonderful. Best of luck to you and your decisions!
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