A
female
age
30-35,
*hortie7755
writes:I have been with my bf for 2 1/2 years and currently we live together. He just told me a couple weeks ago that something in our relationship has changed and he thinks he needs space to figure things out. The truth is we had been fighting a lot in the last couple months..but not more than any other couple still adjusting to living with each other. He was the one who was so sure about us that i am completely shocked about this. He says that he is unhappy with his life right now and just feels empty. He says he hates his job, hates his debt, and doesnt even know who he is anymore or how to handle stress on his own. He is 30 years old and i know he feels unfulfilled in his life with this job b/c he says it all the time. When he started, he was in another long term relationship, but eventually decided he wanted to be with me, but our beginning did cause us a lot of stress. Plus, our families do not approve. Right now, he says sometimes when he looks at me, he just sees a very good friend :( but there are still glimpses of what we had and he is holding out hope for a future for us but cant make any promises. He said he still loves me, misses me, thinks about me...but doesnt know if he wants to be with me. Right now i am at my dads house watching dogs and we are still talking and he still says he does miss me and even fell asleep holding a picture of us. We have had to fight for our relationship since day one and he says he may just need to recharge and get his life back on track, he feels like he cant fight anymore right now. Right now, we are still together, but barely. I know he feels like he needs to take his time, but i want to do the best thing for our relationship. He says he has been unhappy with life for a long time, but only feeling weird about me for a little over a month. This confuses me and makes me think this is all in his head b/c how do you fall out of love with someone in a month!? He seems to think if we remain friends it will make him want me again, but i wonder if i should cut off contact. I know we are meant to be, and he used to know, i just hope he comes to his senses. Anyone have any advice?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 He is depressed and have lost his bearings in life.He is overwhelmed with all those negative factors which is beyond his controls.
If you stay on , it will only prolong your agony. Allow him to leave and be friends only . Whatever will happen to the future, let destiny decides.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 April 2010):
Move out.
Supposedly you are no more than 21. Why at such a young age should you settle for living with someone who sees you just as"a very good friend "(? with occasional glimpses of more, ok )?Don't you want someone who sees you as his ideal woman, as his best lover and companion ever ?Don't you feel you deserve that ?, or at least you deserve someone who can love you back as much as you love him ?
It may not have anything to do directly with you- it may be because he is unfulfilled and unhappy . Ok, but ...what about YOUR fulfillment and YOUR happiness ? Can you be happy and fulfilled living with someone that is so lukewarm toward you ?
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A
female
reader, babyxgirl +, writes (19 April 2010):
This same thing happened to me...Give him his space but avoid all contact until he is ready and sure about his decision. It is for the best, whether or not you guys end up together. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 He doesn't want to be with you anymore. It doesnt have to be something you did wrong. It sometimes happens I guess, and he is depressed now. You mentioned there were many other things in his life that made him depressed. I suggest you two split up and you move out again and on your own. Then tell him that once he gets his life sorted out (try and put it nicely) you can see how your relationship is. But he should figure out a way to find a better job and how to deal with his stress. After all, if he is pulling himself down he will only pull you down with him.I say it's time to abandon the ship, sorry. It's sinking, and you can decide if you want to be dragged down into lots of pain and misery before a breakup, or save pieces of your heart now and get out. If he can pull himself together than perhaps you two can give it another go and you can move back in. But like he said himself, he needs space. I think you should give him that and move out. Perhaps agree to not date/sleep with other people in the meantime, because things like that can hurt and mess up an already messy situation. But right now he doesn't know what he wants, so I advice that you move out and give him this break.
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