A
female
age
30-35,
*hawtyinlove
writes:my boyfriend is controlling! hi me and my boyfriend has been together for about 4months and so far so good/bad. he gives me a cut off time to talk to my guy friends. only at 6pm. he tells me when i may do anything. but when it comes to sex oh hes the sweetest boy in the planet!i jut started taking diet pills. i feel chunky and am getting instant results. i just died my hair blonde too. i guess im turning into what he calls a tease. he says im going to find someone better and leave? first of all if i did want to be with him i wouldn't be! he forbids me from doing anything to fix myself. what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 June 2012):
 I agree with cindy. You stay because deep down inside you believe you don’t deserve better treatment.
BTW diet pills do not work… you will regain the weight as soon as you stop taking them if you don’t learn proper eating habits and get into an exercise routine that you can maintain and that you enjoy.
Figure out what to eat that’s good for you and do that. Figure out what exercise you like and do it. Make those changes for life…. And do not expect instant results… long term permanent weight loss takes time.
As for the boyfriend… do you really want to spend your life with a man who tells you what to wear, who to talk to, when to do things and how to look?
If a man said to me you cannot dye your hair…. And I wanted to dye my hair I’d dye my hair… If he didn’t like it, he knows where the door is.
I can tell you from experience what is going to happen… you will not leave him now… you will leave him when it gets too overwhelming and overbearing and you find someone else that catches your fancy.. and when you leave like that it will be UGLY….
If you leave now you may be able to leave on good terms… I think for many of us that’s harder to do so we wait till a big blow up and totally trash any chance of getting back together because that’s so much easier than being an adult and saying “hey this is not working out”
Just because you grew up together and have known him a long time does not mean it will be awkward. I mean really, you are not living together… what’s so hard… you’re just making excuses because you aren’t ready to leave… you just see the writing on the wall now…
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 June 2012):
 Oh please. People manage to get out of marriages that lasted 20 or 30 years ( involving children, in -laws , shared friends etc... ) and you can't get out of 4 months of dating because it would be awkward ?
If you'll stay with a controlling guy, it will be because you have chosen to.
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A
female
reader, Shawtyinlove +, writes (22 June 2012):
Shawtyinlove is verified as being by the original poster of the question The problem with dumping him is ive known him since kindergarden. long time. we grew up together. i would feel very awkward
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 June 2012):
 Dump him and get out there and enjoy yourself. Don't waste your youth on some ball and chain boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2012): Move on before he scars you for life.
He must grow up before he has a girlfriend, and you deserve better!
Find someone who will appreciate you as you are, and let you be yourself.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 June 2012):
 Your submittal includes just about every bit of evidence of how a controller/abuser behaves...
WHY keep yourself within his sphere????? Dump him and get a nice boyfriend....
Good luck....
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