A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can someone tell me what to do when you don't get on with yout boyfriends brother but your boyfriend is really close to his brother? Me and boyfriends brother really do not get on and we have rowed three times in three years, i don't know how to handle the situation anymore, i'm sure if he has a problem with me or that cus me and my boyfriend have had a fe rows lately? How can i handle the situation? Grateful for any advice Reply to this Question
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female
reader, salvadda  +, writes (2 March 2009):
 This is more common than u relize in families. Some ppl dread X-mas, Thanksgiving, etc. because they don't get along with in-laws, brothers, sisters, brother-inlaws and so on. I can only say that someone has to be the hero. I know how ppl can push bottons. Along with this it adds stress, and also spoils good times for you. It actually makes u not look forward to things because of this. You will have to be the one to say I'm not going to let him get to me. I know it is a hard *very hard* thing to do. For the sake of ur b/f, u might try to let things go. If u r at function and u see ur b/f's brother coming ur way excuse urself and go to the bathroom, or try to find someone else to talk with. You can also try talking with him in crowd of ppl where maybe he will watch his P's and Q's and act a bit better. Some ppl just clash it's just as simple at that. Being that it's ur b/f's brother and they r close this will make it even more difficult. If u really want him to leave u alone u can try the *nice* approch which is to not let him get to you. If he says something that he intends to upset u, u can always answer with something non confrontational, such as *that's nice, is that so, or that's interesting* when he sees he can't get to u it will fade. I'm sorry u have to endure such treatment, but in order to make this pass someone has to be the better person. Above all try not to take it personally, because that is a part of him pushing ur buttons. He can not react if there is no reaction. He will see that he has met his match and he will let it go.If u would like to try to make a mends u can talk to ur b/f about *seriously* and ask to have a meeting with his brother. *never lone* Your b/f will have to be with you. If u can and he agrees there is no harm in asking for a profession to step in. You should think of the future, if u marry this man his family will come along with him. I hope this helps.....Good luck
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