A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi i have been talking to guy online for 2 years and i went to his country to meet him we got on great and after going to meet him 2nd time after few months we got marraid and im expecting his child but the problem is im still scared hes talking to other people online maybe even calling them on phne even though he swears hes not iv bn scared for long time that maybe he wasnt serious with me and that he dosnt love me really maybe its because of past relationships not working before i was with some one for long time and i have bn hurt so many times by guys and even by one or 2 cheating on me also im not what u would call nice in looks and theres just somethings i havent told him abt me because im scared to lose him when ever i tell some one somthing they dont keep my secrets and my previous husband thru it back in my face every time he would get abusiv to me i also dont really have good friends here because to me good friends if u tell them something they would keep ur seacret i want to change my circle of friends also to have good friends but i dont trust any one so its how to kno if some one can be good friend or not i want to be able to trust again and stop feeling so scared all the time because i really do love my husband so much. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi i am sorry but i am not nervious, and if i didnt use sentances in my letter its because i was rushing u know in a hurry for work and everything but anyway to be perfectly honest my question was abt if possible if theres anyone who can know and maybe give me any ideas and tips on how i can try to trust again after being hurt before, not on how well i can type or use sentances, and im still looking for answers pls and i dont really see what trust issues i may have at the moment has anything to do with the fact if u think i need counceling i already talked with my doctor he is medicaly trained and if he dosnt think i need counceling then i really really dont im really sorry if ur answer didnt really answer my question.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 March 2009):
Ah, I think you come across as really nervous as you don't use sentences. My Bad.
I think you may just need some mild counselling, and to go out and find some friends of your own.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionH i am sorry i think u misunderstood me i didnt get marraid after 2 months after i returnd back home i was home talking online and seeing each other always on cam to my still then bf and he always says he loves me and also talking on phn also sometimes when were both working that day and on our breaks and cant come online i went back a 2cnd time stayd then we got marraid we had known each other for abt 2 yrs then i stayd for lots of months in his country the first time was lots longer then when i went back for a 2nd time for few months and we got marraid then and i still styd there but had to return home earlier than expected because my work wanted me back there i am not a nervious wreck believ me if i was having a baby would be the last thing on my mind i just wnat to be able to trust my husband more i dont think its his fault i havent seen any signs to make me trust him less but i feel like i am looking for signs and really i want to be able to trust him more also one time he told me i hurt him by not trusting him more and hes always asking me to trust him more and with my friends really i want friends i can trust also and can depend on because i kno there just pretending to be my friends i kno that i keep there secrets to myself but they cant keep mine and sometimes when they have nights out they invite me when they want to and if they dont want to invite me then they dont i think its because i am not as loud as them and dont shout always like they do and dont drink as much as them also i dont drink now anyway but i can drink fruit juice u can say i am a little quite but i can stand up for myself when i hav to i wish i knew the signs who i can trust and who i cant and really im a very together person just help me to be able to trust again, thanks
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 March 2009):
Oh hun, you got married after 2 months??? It's no wonder you are having doubts.
It does sound like you have some kind of anxiety issues, since you really do sound like a nervous wreck when you type.
You say you can't trust anyone? Not your friends? Not your husband?
I really don't think you are emotionally stable enough to cope with everything right now and I think you need some help and support. Go and talk to a local victim support group about your past and your ex.
If you are having a baby then you need to learn to be calm. Try doing a yoga class. It will help you to relax and also help you make new friends.
If you still feel like this all the time, then perhaps you need to talk to your doctor. It will all get even worse when the hormones kick in.
Good Luck!! xx
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