A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im only 16 years old, and i guess you could all say i shouldnt be commiting mself into a serious relationship at this age, but ive nown my boyfriend since i was around 6 years old and weve always had that close bond. 8 months ago we got together and even though weve had our ups and downs weve come out stronger than ever. Everythings been fine accept for the fact my boyfriend always promises he'l be down mine or meet me somewhere at a certain time, and when someone says a time i expect them to stick to it. Im one of these people that get up to go to school at half past 5, just so i no ill be ready for eight o clock, as i for one hate to be late and hate to have to rush to get ready in around 10 minutes like me boyfriend does. At first i didnt really mind i let it slip but now its starting to annoy me, take today as an example. He was ment to be down mine at three so that we could pop into town and then me be ready to go to work at seven, its now 20 past 6 and im still waiting for him to come down. I start work in 40 minutes for gods sake and hes no where in sight. The most annyoing thing is that hes like this everyday, he'll say that he will be down mine for twelve o clock then go out for food with some family members and not think to let me no, so then im sat around my house wasting my day as he cant even be bothered to pick up the phone and call me to let me know he cant make the time he told me. Everytime i bring it up he makes out that im asking for his life to evolve around me. Im not im just asking for a phone call or something to let me know hes busy so that i can go out and do something else. How do i bring this up with him without him getting in a mood over it? thanks x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, calico  +, writes (15 September 2008):
 Hello, I think that this is a simple but also serious problem. I myself know exactly what you are talking about and I used to deal w/ the same problem w/ my now soon to be husband. There were times that he would actually forget to pick me up at work... It upset me real bad and for a long time i was too afraid to tell him because I thought he would think I was a nag or something and would eventually break up w/ me. Here's the thing though... no matter if you are serious or not about a long-term relationship... you have to be yourself and you have to be real. I am still learning to this day that if you dont stick up for yourself and you dont put your foot down and set your boundaries... and not just in this situation, you will become a very insecure person like I have been. I have always been really shy and not so good about confrontation, I was always worried about upsetting other people...
My advice is if you are afraid, like I was, about asking him face to face... write him a really nice but firm letter on how you have been feeling. I am sure if something were bothering him he'dd let you know. So, remember..if you are nice about it and he still gets pissed off, he just might have an issue of his own, and you may want to take a step back before things get anymore serious. Hang in there.... your not doing a bad thing for standing up for yourself. take care
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): He obviously was not brought up to respect other peoples' feelings and he has no manners whatsoever. It's good manners to let someone know if you're going to be late or not turn up at all, and if I were you I'd be extremely displeased at the way he treated me.
If he gets in a mood over this then I think it's time to call it a day. If he can't see what he's doing wrong he's got a very thick skin indeed. It sounds like he could do with some self-discipline in his life. A few years in the army might sort him out!
I hate to say it, but I think you've got yourself a no-hoper in this guy. If he only gets out of his stinking pit ten minutes before he goes out of the door in the morning I dread to think what his hygiene must be like.
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A
female
reader, calico +, writes (15 September 2008):
Hello, I think that this is a simple but also serious problem. I myself know exactly what you are talking about and I used to deal w/ the same problem w/ my now soon to be husband. There were times that he would actually forget to pick me up at work... It upset me real bad and for a long time i was too afraid to tell him because I thought he would think I was a nag or something and would eventually break up w/ me. Here's the thing though... no matter if you are serious or not about a long-term relationship... you have to be yourself and you have to be real. I am still learning to this day that if you dont stick up for yourself and you dont put your foot down and set your boundaries... and not just in this situation, you will become a very insecure person like I have been. I have always been really shy and not so good about confrontation, I was always worried about upsetting other people...My advice is if you are afraid, like I was, about asking him face to face... write him a really nice but firm letter on how you have been feeling. I am sure if something were bothering him he'dd let you know. So, remember..if you are nice about it and he still gets pissed off, he just might have an issue of his own, and you may want to take a step back before things get anymore serious. Hang in there.... your not doing a bad thing for standing up for yourself. take care
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A
female
reader, Gio  +, writes (15 September 2008):
Hi, Honesty is the best policy. Why not tell him that you understand he needs to do things on his own, just as you do. That is normal, each one needs to have time for thermselves. But in a relationship, there should also be respect for one another, and this involes many things. One of them, respect for each others time and plans. You could very well try doing your things and then going to his place instead of you having to wait for him to show up at God knows what time. Most of us find it annoying to have to wait for those who are late. We usually say 30 minutes or so is enough allowance time. And when someone is punctual, the waiting is even worse. Now, bear in mind that if he doesn't understand how you feel about this, he might never change...is this what you want for the rest of your days? RegardsGio
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A
female
reader, tryin2helpu +, writes (15 September 2008):
 just tell him to be somewhere 30 min. before he really needs to be there or something
good luck
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