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My boyfriend ignores me and when I ask him to do something with me he sighs and says, "If I have to."

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 July 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 July 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I am just wanting to know what other people think about this..

I stay with my boyfriend... After he has been at work all day he comes in gives me a kiss and goes straight on the laptop. Doesnt ask how i am or how my day has been. When I ask him how his day has been work, it takes him ages to answer or he will ask me to repeat what i had just asked. Hes lost all interest in sex and its me who has to make the first move in bed. I understand he has been out working all day but i would like a cuddle in bed now and again. If i ask him something like.. "Will you walk the dog or do you want to come out a walk with me n the dog ?" He sighs and says "If I have to".

What do you think?

I seem to get the feeling he either is hiding something from me (meaning hes finding work hard or something along those lines) or hes cheating on me and is waiting for the right time to tell me.

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A female reader, LauraE United Kingdom +, writes (18 July 2007):

Hi there,

Good reply from DJ8433. This man is taking you for granted in a big way isn’t he? I don’t think there is any particular reason to think he’s cheating, but he may have problems at work like you say. You need to have a heart to heart about this. If he resists, make it clear that this is important because you are drifting apart. If this doesn’t work, I would feel that he wasn’t worth making the effort for any more. Life is scarily short, so don’t waste precious years on someone that doesn’t value you.

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A male reader, DJ8433 United States +, writes (18 July 2007):

DJ8433 agony auntWhat do you want? Do you want to be in a relationship where you are ignored? It sounds like he's not being the "man" in the relationship, but being a selfish child. Tell him how you feel, and that some things need to change in order for you to stay close to him (you're already drfiting away). He may want out, you never know until you talk about it. If he wants to keep you and do better, he will treat you better. Don't belittle or berate him, just tell him how you feel. Don't bring it up and "B" at him every day. Set a timeline for yourself(don't threaten him with it or even share it with him)if things don't change by the time you want them to, then move on. There's 60 million more men in the UK, and more in Europe. Come on, there has to be one out there that will treat you the way you need to be treated.

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