A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf, which I have been with 4 months now, has trouble staying hard when we have sex. Most times he will get hard for a few seconds but at that point I am not wet yet so I have to get lube and by the time I lubed him up it just goes away. We tried twice last time and both times he couldn't stay hard. I know he's done a lot of drugs when he was younger and I also know he's had anxiety having sex with me because he hasnt been able to make me orgasm many times and I think it's on his mind when we do it and he can't stay hard. It's making me really sad because I know it's going to ruin our relationship if we can't figure it out. He's also had trouble orgsming and I feel like he just doesn't want to have sex with me. Or at least not as much or often as I do. What can I do to help?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2011): I'm the poster. He's got a lot on his plate with work (physical), school, and the fact that he travels to visit me every weekend-we live an hour away from each other. I know time is at a premium for him and that must be stressful. I'm just worried that since we're still relatively early in dating and these bedroom issues adding to stress he may be thinking of breaking up because he can't manage it all. He did mention that our situation was on his mind. I want to write him a note telling that I understand that he is tired and he is stressed and that's ok and that I love him.
A
male
reader, Flightfrk02  +, writes (28 November 2011):
Many guys experience this, take one night and just do oral, he gets you off and you get him off. This will give him the confidence he needs, contrary to popular belief, if your guy is stressed, has something on his mind, anything going on in his life, it will be very hard for him to achieve an errection. Another tip if he lays flat on his back, he'll have higher blood pressure, easier errection, hope this helps :)
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 November 2011):
 Am sure it has nothing to do with you. These are his own issues to deal with. If he has done drugs well then maybe he should go to see a doctor about his problem. Just try and not put any pressure on him for a while. Let him iniciate sex and just reassure him that it is not a problem for you. Tell him you are willing to keep trying and tell him not to worry about it. A lot of woman find it difficult to orgasm through sex. So get him to have plenty of foreplay with you and this might raise his confidence.
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