A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together over a year. He claims that his ex-lover is just a friend. Although he has only just admitted that they used to sleep together. Even though he had told me that they had never been intimate like that, i had always had a gut instinct. Recently ive found text messages from her stating she cant wait to see him etc. He completely denied the whole thing and said that he was never going to meet her. He eventually told me he was planning to meet her and when i asked why he hadn’t told me he said because he knew how i would react... If he knew how i would react why would he do such a thing behind my back in the first place? I don’t not believe that two people who have had a history can be friends... And i am being made out to be a crazy woman over this. I feel like they have both taken me for a complete fool (i also personally know the girl) and in my heart i do not believe that they are just friends. I confronted her about it and she already seemed to know about the whole thing and said that they were just good friends... But considering he had already told her i had seen the message how can i believe what she says?If they are just friends then 1. Why hide the fact he was going to meet her in the first place? 2. Why not have been honest about their history? I have now ended the relationship as i don’t feel that i can trust him anymore and i feel like he has taken me for such a fool this whole time. I feel like he has chosen her over me by doing this and i don’t know if i can ever forgive him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replies.... I know ive done the right thing and i will move on and be happy with my life. Thanks xx
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 November 2011):
 He broke your trust and once that is done it is very hard to get it back again. I don't even think this is about him cheating or not. He lied to you about another girl, so that itself is obviously going to put doubt in your mind that he has done a lot more with her than just talk. Maybe he has and maybe he hasn't. Yes he knew you would react badly, so you are right why would he do this if he knew it would upset you. It is OK to have female friends when you are in a relationship with a girl. I am a firm believer of this, but they need to be open and honest about it, which he wasn't. I doubt that you will ever be able to trust him again, for lying to you and making you feel like a fool, and really I don't blame you.
You done the right thing for yourself by finishing it. But off course it is going to be hard for you, you have just lost your boyfriend and been hurt at the same time. But remain strong and keep telling yourself you done the right thing. You just need to look for Mr. Right. Just give yourself time to heal and go out with friends and enjoy life as much as you can.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (27 November 2011):
 You did absolutely the right thing. They were more than just friends and he shared information with her before sharing it with you.He has behaved despicably and although you will be able to forgive him you you will not be able to trust him. The only way you will be able to deal with this is if he cuts her off completely and this is something he will not be able to do. He will pretend to you that he has but they will still be in contact behind your back. You absolutely did the right thing in finishing with him as this will only get worse. Let the two of them get on with it, very nasty people, you deserve much better.
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