Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2012): As a young facebook user myself I too would be worried if my boyfriend wouldn't accept me as his public girlfriend never mind just as a friend. For people who don't use fb a lot probably won't understand but its not a big deal to just have you as just a friend? It means its something he does not want you to see. I wouldn't worry that he's ashamed of you but more likely he's embarassed or hiding things on his fb he is not comfortable sharing with you. If he hardly uses it I wouldn't worry so much unless you know he is using it regularly that would bother me a lot more.
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (4 April 2012):
 To anon: yes I agree with you that it is a big deal that he drops your hand when he enters a bar but don't automatically assume that it's because he doesn't want to flaunt you. Maybe he's shy about Public Displays of Affection. If I were in your shoes I would ask him why he does this. Howvere your BF is right about FB, it isn't reality and the less you say about yourself on it the less trouble you will get yourself into. There are so many posts on here about people upset because of something that happened on FB. We all need to get off our computers and insert ourselves back into the real world. We are losing our ablilty to communicate face to face thanks to twitter and facebook. It's very sad!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2012): For all those people who say FB means nothing - it does - its "going public" with a relationship.
I just had an hour long fight with my boyfriend because he never posts pictures of us and kept his single status until this latest fight. (finally he hid it). He says FB is not reality and means nothing. But by the fact that he doesn't publicize our relationship - is a red flag. Not that I think he's cheating per say - but to me it just means he's not proud and flaunting me. And it hurts.
And yes I'm a 32 year old woman. But for you non FB users -put it this way - how would you feel if your boyfriend held your hand and then dropped it the second you entered the neighborhood bar??
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A
female
reader, doppleganger  +, writes (3 April 2012):
Its true that up to a few years ago we didn't have facebook, so it should't matter, but unfortunately facebook nowadays is a reality which we have to face, and yes it is important. Facebook can get you fired from your job, it can show your family what a freak you are , or break up a relationship!
So I think yes , he should add you or at least accept your friend request.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): Your in your late 20s why does Facebook have anything to do with your love-life?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): "My boyfriend has not added me on facebook, should I be worried?"
Only if he's cheating on somebody else and doesn't want her/him/them to use facebook to bust him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): nope. Maybe he's like me and only uses facebook 1- 2 times a month. Facebook should be the least important thing about a relationship!
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female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (3 April 2012):
I think Facebook is the single biggest relationship destroyer on the planet! Definately keep any private stuff off it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): I am going through the same thing and it not only bugs me but makes me angry. He accepts even people he doesn't know.
Have you requested him and he's left you pending? Or are you waiting for him to ask first?
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (3 April 2012):
 No you shouldn't be worried. I think it is best that facebook is kept out of the relationship so you can focus on the realtionship itself without the pressure of searching through his facebook. I would talk to him about but you should respect the fact that he may want to keep facebook out of the relationship.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): Have you sent a friend request?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): its facebook. Who cares?
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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: