A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been with my boyfriend about 5 yrs , and I recently he got cought having naked pictures on his phone , he was showing me a picture that he took and by accident ly I saw those , he said that his friend send those to him , so I said would u like me to have naked men on my phone showing lots of dicks ? He didn’t say anything , am I over testing or I’m I not pretty enough for him anymore or not exciting to him any more ....??????
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (30 May 2018):
 My male friends don't send porn to my phone. Not because they don't send porn, but because they respect my boundaries. They know I don't want that on my phone, so they don't send it.
Men should never do anything that makes their female partner think she isn't attractive enough. We spend most of our life trying to convince them that we do find them attractive, when the mirror is telling them something else.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2018): I would be pissed.
Seriously, for many women this would be a deal breaker.
Yes, you are pretty enough. He's the jerk.
Now, find out if his friend did send them, if it's someone he knows, if it continues or if there are more pics.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (27 May 2018):
 This has nothing to do with you and is all about HIM. You could be a super model but, if he is the type of guy who wants to have naked pics of women on his phone, he still will.
I personally don't buy the excuse that his mate sent the pics. I don't think you do deep down either.
Are they just pics of random women or is he actually in contact with these women? You two need to talk.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2018): How were things before you saw the pictures on his phone? Is he warm and affectionate towards you? Do you have an active sex-life? No, you're not being testy or overreacting. It's hurtful, and sends the wrong message to the person you consider your lover and partner.
It was a lame excuse to blame it on a friend. Maybe a friend sent them; but he kept them! It has nothing to do with how you look. Would you go so far as to describe him to us? Is he bald, does he have a pot-belly, and does he show his age?
In spite of his looks, you care for him all the same. Right?
The same can be true in his case about you. It's a dumb adolescent thing some guys do. It's not always something to be dismissed. You take into account whether he is good to you, shows you respect, and treats you better than anybody else he knows. If he doesn't; then fault yourself for keeping some sub-par dirt-bag for a boyfriend.
Before you tear yourself apart about what he likes in other women; take a good look at him. If he's the average-Joe, but you love him anyway; he's there because he knows he doesn't have a chance in hell with those types of women. Types who take naked pictures and showoff for anybody to see them. You're a dignified and respectable woman; and what you've got are for his eyes only.
Ask him to let you delete those pictures; and let him know that you will not waste any of your time on a man who's busy looking at racy pictures of other women! When you may as well be alone and happy, or with somebody better! Maybe even a much better-looking younger-man!
Your self-esteem is homegrown and cultivated. It does not depend on the validation of a man, or other people. You have to be fit for battle, able to self-repair, and prepared to deal with the disappointments of human-nature. It's the only way to survive. You don't tear yourself apart over what other people do or say. You survive under your own energy and power, not from what's given to you by others.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (26 May 2018):
As we become older....i think women in general question are they still attractive....and the answer is a Positive Yes.I can understand why you could question this..after those photos on your boyfriends phone.However would you consider having a chat with your boyfriend about this.Maybe it might be an idea to ask him ...Why his friend thought he would be interested in them....and also in the meantime has he deleted the photos.Its not always easy to deal with a situation...so try and do it in a calm and cool manner.Best Wishes..Nora B.
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