A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so my boyfriend and I have been on and off for alittle over 4 years. We've both cheated and forgave each other and I thought we moved on but a few months ago we moved out of town together and he cheated. Then I found out that he may have two other children (we have a 2 year old). One of the kids is only 2 months younger than our son. This REALLY bothers me but he says he's sorry and he'll figure out a way to make it up to me but I'm just tired and confused. He was my first love and I really want to try and work it out but I dont know. Other than this stuff he is a great guy and I think that he actually loves me but we're only 22 years old and maybe he cant handle it.
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female
reader, bangieb_1279 +, writes (25 November 2008):
Well, I am going through the exactly same thing you are. I dated my boyfriend for four years at the time. He cheated with two other woman during the four years and both woman now have his child including me. Therefore, all his children are the same age. And to make matters worse, he cheated with one of the women right in my face. Now after all this he says he wants to be with me. But I cant forget or forgive him right now. So my advice to you is to take time and get your mind clear and decide what is best for you and your child. Cause me I had to let go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): I can understand you have deep feelings for this man but that does not make the situation 'right'. The cheating demonstrates that you do not have commitment to one another and despite your feelings something inside you is telling you he is not 'the one'. You are young and ok, you have a child with this man, but that does not tie you forever to a life of misery wondering what he is going to do next or what is going to come out the woodwork. Try and see things a little more objectively - take some time out just you and your child if you can. These additional children are now related to your child and so this tangled web needs to be put in a proper framework. You are adults so you need to be adult about your decisions but I think the extended 'family' you have created should be placed within boundaries first and then you need to decide whether this guy is good for you and will make you really happy. I think at the moment you want him to be someone or something he is not.
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A
female
reader, Landie  +, writes (28 December 2007):
 If he really loved you he would not have cheated on you again. first you both cheaed and forgave each other, but he did it again and that just means he will keep on doing it because there's nothing stopping him.
It sounds terrible and i really feel bad for you but the only thing you can do thats best for you and your child is to leave him.
He might or has 2 other children which means he is having unprotected sex. What will happen if he gets HIV and passes it on to you? Do you want your son to grow up with out a mother because his father gave her HIV and she died from it.
I'm sure you love your son more then anything so do whats best for both of you and leave him.
Good luck
Hope this helps
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