A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is very, very clever. It's one of the main things that attracted to me to him.He's majoring in Mathematics and he got accepted to XYZ University yesterday. He is in his 3rd year. he knows a professor there apparently (put in a good word) and showed him some of his work -- apparently, he has "promise." He has to do one year, his 4th, there and if he gets good grades, he will potentially get into a graduate program with some of the world's best math minds.This is all amazing, but it would mean him moving to another country. We live in Canada). I've been crying all day. I want more than anything for him to take the chance, I know he may never get another one like it. I also know I will likely never find another guy like him...I mean, he's literally perfect in many ways; He's the kind of guy people fight over. It destroyed one of my closest friendships, but I don't regret it, I love him more than I could ever love anyone else and it would honestly break my heart not to be able to see him every day...I don't know what to do..
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 May 2012):
 You have to accept this. I know that it is hard. But as you said he will never have this opportunity again and if he turns it down just for you he will end up resenting you for that. It does not mean you both need to split up. If you are both serious about each other, then you CAN make it work long distance. Yes off course it will be hard not having him close to you, but am sure you can both make a plan where you can spend the holidays together or any free time you both have. I know it is a difficult time for you, but you just need to accept this and be happy for him. Off course you will miss him, but if you both want it to work between the both of you, with a little hard work it can so it is not like you are losing him the way you feel that you might be. Come up with a plan together so you feel better about things.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (3 May 2012):
It does sound like a fantastic opportunity for your boyfriend, so you should encourage him to do this for his future. It’s hard to be supportive when you’re so upset, but this doesn’t have to be a disaster. My suggestion is that you have a conversation with him, in which you explain how much you’re going to miss him and discuss how you’re going to keep in touch. Speaking every day might be hard if he’s busy, but would a phone or Skype chat a couple of times a week be okay? Decide how you’ll keep in touch during this year. Knowing that’s all been sorted out will make it a bit easier for you when he leaves. I’d also encourage you to perhaps try not to spend all your time together now, so that the adjustment isn’t as hard for the both of you. You should find time for other important people in your life, like friends and family members. You’ll find support from them will really help you when he goes.I wish you all the very best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): Why can't you go with him to another country. If ur in school apply to one of the schools in the area near him that u can get into. Get your visa or whatever paperwork and passports that u might need. Or if ur not in school get a job that allows you to save a few thousand dollars then go about getting a visa or citizenship in the country he is going. Don't be miserable about this......see this as an opportunity to prove your love. If u do nothing but cry, then well, it will make u look like a poor fighter who gives up at the sound of the word fight. I know this is a hugh challenge but if you're up for it, it can work. Use the internet to find ways, legally to get to the country he is going. Find out all the steps you'll have to take. Now is no time to cry. Crying is for the one who would put in no effort. If he means this much to u, then u will follow him, or go with him. Best wishes
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