A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am really baffled. See I cheated on my boyfriend over 10 years ago. This man I cheated on him with was well in doubt. Now since I finally came clean about all the sexual experiences I have ever had that I can honestly admit to. Now it's like our relationship is one in the stars and then the next mintue its shot to hell.!i I love this man to bits and I am trying to fight through the bad times, but I am starting to wonder if this relationship is going to get better. Oh, and not just get better for a little while, but is it worth fighting for. I truly understand why he feels the way he does, but if we are going to be together like he say we are should we both be able to get over the deep dark secrets we both were holding inside?
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male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (19 May 2012):
 you say you love him , hes your soul mate. you don't want him to leave .
"your mind tells you one thing, and your heart tells you another" could be your heart still has a place of attachment , and caring for him (you know you still love him).
your mind may be tired . tired from the mess and cant see a way to fix things "you are saying to your self whats the use."
you just have a heavy load, and it will take both of you pulling together, and it will take time.
counseling would be a good place to start.
it can work, but it will take both of you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTell me viewers if I know I have messed up and after 14 years the man I have been with is ready to leave. For some odd reason I not begging and pleaded him to stay this time. Don't get me wrong I honestly and truly don't want our family to be tore apart. At the same time I have know one to blame but myself... What should I do????? My hearts telling me to do one thing. My mind is telling me to do another..... I need some inspiring words constructive critisim is accepted????
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat really gets me is he see the change in me and I also see the hange in him as far as cheating, being honest, staying faithful and truthful with one another. I have heard and dealt with a lot from his end but me being the person I am willing to see the better in a person. No I don't want to lose this man, but what am I to do when he feels sexual secretively I am unsatisfying in the bed room because if the encounters u had with others doing our relationship. We have been together over 12yrs and I truly do feel he is my soul mate but he thinks that I feel a different way. How am I suppose to work on something when everything I say is still unbelievable? Thank you fellas for the advice . It's really nice to read things from men who thinks with a open mind. I thank you!!!
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (3 May 2012):
cheating is cheating no matter who does it. it hurts trust in a relationship.
nothing good comes out of mistrust. cheating counts if it is the man or woman doing it. damage is done to trust and respect in a relationship by cheating.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (3 May 2012):
you have done a lot of damage in your relationship by cheating on your B/F . there is trust,and respect damaged by your actions of the past.
it will take time to heal these wounds , it will not happen over night.
a relationship is built on trust,and honesty . right now he see's it as damaged, he has resentment and hurt built up inside.
(starting to wonder if the relationship is going to get better)it will take both of you to work on it, not just one person.
(but is it " the relationship " worth fighting for.) only you can answer that. you need to ask yourself (is he worth fighting for.)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you I am really putting in thought to that.... But is it fair that he has also cheated within those ten years. But I see that doesn't count for anything cause he is a man!!!!
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (3 May 2012):
No, I feel that his resentment will continue to resurface on and off, and that there will always be trust issues and his feeling that he was evidently not enough for you, or not right for you. It might be better to move on.
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