A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm really in a very confusing situation I have been seeing this guy for almost two years off and on we were dating, we broke up, he met someone else moved in with her, things didn't work out and came back to my town! the whole time I waited patiently I love him so much I knew things wouldn't work out and deep inside I knew he would come back. I didn't date anybody, I didn't care for anyone else but him! long story short we got back together and everything was great... I knew he had female friends but I never thought he was a cheater. He is a very different kind of guy, people say he is very strange to me he is one of a kind. anyway I found out he was cheating when I knocked on his bedroom door, (his roomate had let me in) I heard whispers and simply turned around and left! later that night he texed me and told me to get ready to go to dinner! I did. he said it was just a friend and i let it go. now he is seeing her and he is open about it! the problem is that even if it hurts this much I am not letting go of him. Sometimes if I text he doesn't reply I start thinking it's because she is there with him but when he is with me he doesnt have a problem answering the phone to talk to her. she doesn't know about me, supposedly he told her that we broke up. I get angry at myself for being this stupid but when I am with him nothing else matters... he tells me that being with me it's comforting, it's soothing, that with me he can be himself and he can talk about anything and knows I won't judge him, that he knows where he should be, but he wants to be sure that I am ready. He says he loves me and he knows I love him too. That I am like no other, he can trust me, he knows I'm loyal and he tells me all this qualities he sees in me. yet he is with her! I have three kids and they absolutely love him. he met my whole Family, boss, ex husband so I thought It was something more serious to him. Now he is having fun with a girl who is 23 and loves to party. he is 37 and he doesn't party much. I know I got myself in this one by allowing him to come around knowing there is someone else. we only live 2 blocks away from each other and friends have already seen him with her. I pretend I don't care when they tell me about it but inside it's killing me. I feel like maybe he is just having a little fun and sooner or later she will find out about me and then I can have him all for myself. but I know its a stupid way to think!
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female
reader, Weramazing  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 You need to wake up! I'm sorry but this is crazy. Do you want to share your partner? What is this?!
Open your eyes and leave him now. Not only is he taking advantage of you but he is making a fool of you infront of all of the people who are close to you.
He doesn't respect you and he doesn't love you. Do you know why he is doing this?
Because you let him!
I'm sorry but Its true.
Stop doing this to yourself leave him and stop putting yourself through this crap. He has nothing to offer you and you are competing against another woman for his affection.
He hasn't even told her he is seeing you but was happy to tell you. You know why?
Because he thinks she has enough respect for herself that she wouldn't accept it but guess what he thinks it's ok to tell you because he thinks you lack self respect and he knows you are desperate for him and will accept it. And that is the truth.
You are a mother of 3 don't waste your time with this loser. Dump him and build your confidence again before you get into another relationship. Focus on yourself and don't ever let a guy treat you like this again. not only for yourself but you are a role model to your children, would you want one of them to get with a partner like him? Or think it was ok to treat someone else like this because there mum accepted it.
Sounds like you have been through alot having 3 kids and having been through a divorce if you can overcome that then you can overcome this.
Go and start a new life and become a confident new woman making space in the future for a decent gentleman to come into your life and treat you like a woman is supposed to be treated not a door mat. Good luck.
A
female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 I can relate to mine the emotional situation you are into now and I know it is very hurting, a devastating feeling.
Your BF doesn't really love you, he's just with you for he can get what he wants from you. He tells you things you wanted to hear but he doesn't mean every word.
Get out of this mess before you will hurt yourself. You know very well he's not giving you the respect you deserve. I know it is very hard to let go but you need to face the facts that he is not into you. Stop torturing yourself and don't be afraid of losing him. You can still find a man who will truly love you and put you first before him.
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A
female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 Wow, I was like you with my ex. Good thing and I am so glad I am over this.
Well, I cannot blame you entirely why you allow this to happen. It's not like you wanted to be that way. It's not like a switch when you could just turn off your feelings. But think of it this way: what he is doing is a total disrespect to you!
What kind of person says he loves you and then is so open with his relationship with another girl? He is treating you like a rug. He doesn't care at all about how you feel. And he knows even he does these things..you will still accept him with open arms. What a lucky a**hole.
I have been in this exact situation and I got fed up in the end and I picked myself up. I found out too that my bf keeps another gf and I had consented to it for 2 months. A man who doesn't respect you is the worst of all.
Get your revenge this way:
From now on, stop seeing him, talking to him..stop anything and pretend he had ceased existing. Do not ever answer his calls or text. Let him realize what he has lost and that will make him suffer. However, don't ever accept him if he comes begging you back..he knows up to how much you can sacrifice for him. That's the sad part.
Just choke this up to experience. You may not have him back but atleast you were not the loser. You were not the one who was left. You left him..and that he will always remember..that you're not the doormat girl he thought you were.
I know it's easier said than done. All you need to change is how you think of this situation, you can't be treated this way. I am saying this to you as I am saying this to myself.
Don't be afraid, its not the end of the world. Trust me.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 March 2010):
He has you hook line and sinker. Allow me to introduce you to this type of man. This is the type of man who says everything right, but does everything wrong. He says he loves you. He doesn't. I know you're hurting, but it's time to wake up from your dream. He isn't suddenly going to stop dating this younger woman and notice you. He doesn't care, he doesn't want anything else from you other than sex. The facts say all. You were on/off in the first place, he's dated other women, come back and lied to you, is now cheating on you and is open about it. Surely you know you deserve better. The reason he stays around is because you're the loyal one who he knows when worst comes to worst he can crawl to and you'll let him in. GET RID OF HIM.
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