A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Agony Aunts I need help please!!!!I just recently found porn on my boyfriends phone. I was looking for a pic I had emailed him of a rare protected snake so it coulr be forward to the DNR.The porn was in the downloads with the picture he downloaded from me so how could I not see them. Several short video clips. I have nothing against porn. I enjoy it myself. The reason I need help is because some of the video clips were of pregnant woman. I know some guys like woman when they are pregnant. However my daughter is 19 and is 5 months pregnant. She was staying with us for a few months untill everything was set up. I looked to see when it was downloaded and it was during the time she was here. This really bothers me. Does he have a thing for my child? Am I reading to much into this?When my daughter was 9, I left my than ex fiance for messing with my two oldest girls. They were 9, and 7 at the time. I called child protective and the police on him as soon as my children told me that he was touching them. I guess Im worried most because I want to protect my children first. Did I fall on love with a man that is sick in the head as well. My youngest daughter still lives at home with me she is 14. He knows what we have been threw and I have never seen any signs of any bad behavior before. I just dont understand. Please if anyone can help I would greatly appreciate it.
View related questions:
fiance, lives at home, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, HappyPlace  +, writes (11 October 2012):
 This is the problem with guys who watch porn in general. They can turn an everyday situation into a porn fest because they have become sick in the head, in my opinion. Oh, and you are watching it too. Shovel shit into your mind and hey, guess what happens?? Yeah, this is too coincidental. You may have made a poor choice of men, as this has happened before. Protect your children first, and get rid of the creep, pronto! My partner's friend thinks it is ok to joke about "dirty, 15 year old girls". He genuinely believes, because of the teenage porn genre, that 15 year old girls are up for sex with older men, because that is how it is portrayed in porn. The recent example of the school teacher in England who abducted a 15 year old schoolgirl and took her to France confirms this. Porn is the link here. Personally now, older and wiser, any guy who looks at porn and thinks it is acceptable is NOT the guy for me and I would not compromise my beliefs to end up with a creepy, porn watching, get a life boy!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2012): Hi. Sorry but this guy sounds really creepy. He must have had his imagination fired up because she is pregnant and that led him to start looking at pregnant women in pornography. That`s repulsive behavior for a man that should be representing a `father figure` to your kids. It goes to show he is not regarding your eldest as a daughter, he is only viewing her sexually. Maybe let him know you found his porn stash and set some porn boundaries so he knows what it and what is NOT acceptable, otherwise you are not going to be very comfortable with him around your girls.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2012): To me this is like a red flag to a bull... My opinion is its no co incidence that your daughter is pregnant and at home for a duration and during this time your partner lookin at pregnancy porn, there is in my mind a very distinctive link.. Would I be worried, hell yeah you have a child at home only 14yrs of age.. Women with children are vulnerable it is not your fault that you are in love with him, so don't blame yourself.. We cannot predict how someone else will behave we can only counteract that behaviour.You now have inside info at your fingertips and is making you uneasy,! I would make him leave no matter what lame excuse he gave me at this minute, he goes, now..I would then calmly sit down and talk with my 14yr old and find out if anything been said hinted at to her...I would then do the same with my pregnant 19yr old daughter, there is no time to waste here..Be clear to him that you saw what you saw and the time frame, and that is rather sickening to say the least.. Let him talk to you after you have talked to your kidsFor me... He'd be out!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2012): Not necessarily...You are already aware of this little fetish thing and you are both open to porn, so have a frank discussion with him about your concerns. If he flips out and gets defensive, that's a major red flag and then I would be concerned. But if after explaining what you just explained to us, he is understanding and sensitive to how this all might look, then he can refrain from that kind of stuff.Women's have a much stronger radar and can understand these kind of things and how they can get a little too close to our real lives. For example, I never really had an issue with porn until my own daughters were in that "young teen" and "young adult" category and I was finding out men my age (mid 40's - 50's) were posting pictures of these girls on Facebook and realizing how many men were watching that kind of porn. If one of these guys even looks at my daughters in that way I would have nothing to do with them. If my boyfriend ever looks at my daughters the wrong way, I would go off and he would be gone, gone gone. Perspective changes and men are often the last to figure it out. So, give the guy the benefit of the doubt and talk to him about it and hopefully you can have your concerns put to rest.
...............................
|
