A
female
age
36-40,
*estiny154
writes:Hello, ive been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. There is quite a big age gap between us and last year sometime he found out he had clymidiea and i also had to get treated for it. I myself havent cheated on him but that got me thinking has he cheated on me? Now recently he has discovered a small sore red lump on his penis, we looked up some of the symptoms online and the results it came back with were genital warts, sypillis and other STI. Until he gets this sorted i cannot keep my mind at ease. He also said that if he has got them, then im not aloud to go mad at him because he honestly hasnt done anything. I need help as i dont know what to think. Can you help me please, i need some good advice. I dont want us to break up over this until i actually get the results of what hes got or evidence of him doing something. HELP :(
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cheated on me, genital warts Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): Hey.
My mum is a nurse so she warns me about STI's all the time. I know for a fact that STI's such as chlamydia can go undetected with no symptoms for Years! He could have had these STI's before you even knew him, and i do supose that he has had sexual relationships before you.
Chlamydia is an infection that can cause damage to you in the long run, but it has been known for people to go up to ten years without even knowing they have got the infection.
Dont worry, i dont think he has cheated. Although i am afraid it is possible, as i said he could have had it before you got together without even knowing. The infection can show no symptoms and is not noticeable on the outside.
I hope this has put your mind at ease! xx
A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Warts (HPV virus) and Chlamydia are Sexually transmitted diseases/infections and can both live in the body for several months sometimes years without presenting any symptoms, or the symptoms can become apparant straight away.
For that reason I cannot say for sure that he hasnt cheated, but I can say that it is remotely possible that you gave it to him ? I say that because alot of women can have this from a previous partner without knowing and pass it onto the male, the same as warts. So unless you know for sure that you were STD and STI clean before you started with your guy then you may never ever know.
I would get myself checked out and get him treated pronto. You never know that if he has cheated what else you may have.
The Warts virus is the one I would be concerned about at the moment, as that lives in the body forever. That one can never clear and bouts can appear for years after the inital eruption. Whilst you can treat this to get them lazered and so on, it means that if hes got the virus chances are so have you and that you will always have a higher risk of an outbreak and passing this on to someone else. In other words you will never be free of HPV.
You need to get yourself checked straight way as the HPV virus is what aids towards getting abnormal cells on the cervix, so a smear test here is in order to get this all checked out. Its shown that the HPV virus in women can lead to cervical cancer, Please read the Links Below and the ifs and buts on it all. The thing with Chlamydia aswell, is whilst its simple to clear the long lasting effects, if its been in your system for a long time can be infertility. Now ive not said all this to scare you, these are the bare facts, and you need to get yourself sorted first and then work out if your guy has cheated. if in doubt always use a condom as the risks are so not worth it, If in your heart of heart you beleive him then so be it, but i dont think you will ever know what has gone on here.
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/chlamydia.htm
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/genitalwarts.htm
I wish you the best
Take care x
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 I wouldn't be 100% certain he has cheated on you. It's possible to have the disease for a very long time without any visible symptoms. Having said that, it doesn't look good for his staying faithful! Have you asked him directly about it? Really directly? He could be lying.
In the mean time get yourself checked and don't have unprotected sex with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): OK, just to let you know this exact thing happened to me, but the other way around. I CHEATED and got chlymidia and found out AFTER I had sex with my boyfriend again. I went and got treated for it, let him know what I got, he was as naive as you are being, and got him treated for it as well. PLEASE, DO NOT believe that he didn't do anything. HE OBVIOUSLY HAS!!!! If you don't want to be with a cheater, then you best be kicking him to the curb. If you guys have been together for that long, chlymidia doesn't just come out of nowhere, you know? He has to have done something with someone, so just be VERY careful!! And maybe re-think if you want to be with him.
GOOD LUCK!!!
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (21 June 2007):
Dear Wonderwoman. Now someone must of cheated because my medical search says that the only way one can get Chlamydia is by unprotected vaginal or anal sex,That's the long and the short of it.
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A
female
reader, maryann61181  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 He cheated on you. There's no way you can get diseases like that unless you're having sex. Stop being naive - he is manipulating you into believing that he has done nothing wrong. These are only sexually transmitted diseases.
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