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anonymous
writes:My boyfriend completely forgot my birthday! I am so upset. We've been together for a year-and-a-half and during that time, he's celebrated two birthdays, both of which I have remembered and tried to make special, even though the first year, we'd only known each other about a month, but I still took him to dinner and bought him a birthday card. A few months later when my birthday rolled around, we'd been seeing each other for about 4 months and even though I was out of town that week for business, I thought for sure I'd at least get a card when I returned -- But no! So I let it slide with only minimal comments. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, since our relationship was still pretty new. This year, I expected a little more. We've been living together for the past 10 months and he's asked me several times, when my birthday was. And I've told him several times, when it is, including about a month ago when something came up in conversation about it.I didn't want to keep reminding him anymore because I feel like if I'm important to him, he'll remember the day! His last girlfriend got balloons, flowers and several really nice gifts so he is capable of doing nice things, he just didn't do anything for me! He says I should've marked it on the calendar in the kitchen so he "wouldn't forget". I think since I've told him several times already, he should've marked it on his calendar at work, or on his computer. It's not that complicated! He remembers other dates, and his kids' birthdays, if I'm not important enough after a year-and-a-half, then I think I'm wasting my time. Am I making more out of this than I should?...
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female
reader, emlov  +, writes (7 December 2013):
Think that's bad ive known my boyfriend 5-6 years and he still forgets when my birthday is. Its my birthday tomorrow and i bet he has forgotten once again
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female
reader, SoSadTooBad  +, writes (18 April 2013):
All of your previous posts have made me feel so much better, that I am not alone in this, and that feeling this way is not overreacting like my boyfriend is saying I am. My birthday was a week ago and the guy I've been seeing for 6 months completely forgot. WE are in business together and he texted me a few times the morning of my special day to ask some work related questions. I let it slide, thinking he would remember later on and we'd share a good laugh about it. By 10pm that night, still no HBD text, phone call or anything. I saw him posting on Facebook so I replied to all the wishes on my page, hoping he'd notice, but nothing. 4 days passed without anything and I finally texted him and told him my feelings were very hurt that he didn't say a word on my special day. He responded that he'd forgotten and can't understand why I am making a big deal. It's been a week and he still hasn't made any sort of effort to call, send a card, or even give me a empathetic apology. This is highly unlike him since he went all out for Valentine's Day and enjoys decorating for other holidays.His reaction has made me feel almost silly that I am still so hurt by this. I guess like many of you have said, this day was special to me, therefore it should have been special to him too. Even if he wasn't a big celebrater of bdays he still should have done something to address the fact I am hurt, yet not a word for a while week? I am going to break up with him. I think I deserve better and he should've known better than to treat someone this way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2013): Yes, he forgot my birthday yet again this year. All I wanted was a "Happy Birthday" acknowledgement by text or whatever. I have never forgotten his birthday, but last year I didn't do anything intentionally. This is just a symtpom of an over-all cold and distant "relationship." I'm done.
Ladies, dump these losers. We teach people how to treat us, and I'm ready for a Prince Charming. BTW: Men are NOT dogs. Dogs are loyal, love unconditionally, etc. Men are honeybees. They like to pollenate all the pretty flowers and then they sting you. As my grandma used to always say, "M-E-N, Dearest. That spells it out!"
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reader, Basschick +, writes (3 January 2012):
 Dear Momof2boys, I think you have a great idea and thank God his birthday is right around the corner! My husband's is 8 months later and by then I've usually cooled off and gotten over it so I never follow through with my revenge. But since you'r husband's birthday is rght around the corner, I definately think you should just the let the day go by without so much as a verbal "Happy Birthday"; no card, no gift no nothing and see how long it takes him to make mention of the fact that it's his "big" day. And if he does say, "I'm sorry are we still celebrating birthdays, because you never remember mine." And if he doesn't have the guts to say anything about it wait until you're in bed that night and then turn to him and say, "Oh by the way I wanted you to know I intentionally skipped your birthday today. I remembered it I just didn't feel like celebrating it with you since you never help me celebrate mine....Just wanted you to feel the insignificance of that. Good night." Then roll over and go to sleep. I just can't believe you haven't done this alot sooner! I wouldn't have been able to do that for 18 years without revenge. So you go girl! Afterall men can tell who which quarterback made what play in 1995 while playing for which team and yet cannot remember their wives birthday!
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reader, momof2boys +, writes (31 December 2011):
my husband and I have been together for 18 years and have 2 boys. I just turned 49 in December, and he didnt do anything. I am usually disappointed by his lack of romance. I have always been the type to make special occasions important and noted. However he makes all kinds of excuses. My birthday is right after xmas, so he always says " I didnt have any money" even my 9 yr. old son said "you say that every year!!". how sad is that, when my 9 yr. old even notices!!?? He obviously planned out shopping for the kids, and took great care to plan and purchase their gifts, and spent under 50.00 on me. I know xmas is for the kids, have no problems with that, but really he spent the whole budget on xmas, knowing my bday was coming up, he could have easily picked out a card and gift at the same time he was xmas shopping!! duh. I didnt even get a dollar store balloon!!! so his bday is in January, how great it falls a month after mine, and Im not even going to acknowledge it, one poster suggested buying herself a bday gift on his birthday, I love that idea, I might even wrap it up and open it in front of him!!!! too funny, but could I really do it, I hope so. I dont get why guys can remember meetings with friends, gifts for kids, and what night their favorite dumb tv show comes on, but cant be bothered to get their wife a gift on special occasions? and I can tell ya, the other holidays arnt much better, I usaully get upset on holidays, and soooooo sick of his lack of planning. Im over it, and from now on Im buying my own gifts, and using our budget to do it, and when he gets tired of me over spending on myself then maybe he will take the time to do it!!!!!!! ladies men suck, I have always envied the girls who get the guys who are romantic, I think its always in how they are raised, and my husband is not teaching my boys about being romantic, so they will probably be the same, but Im trying to teach them better!!!!!! I see why women are lesbians, I bet their mates never forget!!!!!!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): well...since the post its been 5 yrs..but guys stay the same...never change. Today is my bday and yes he forgot all about it. Yes I get mad becuase he remembers other's bday but not mine. He blames the night shift job he has. But after reminding him its my birthday, he doesn't bother to get me anything. I get flowers from my family (they left their names off the card) he thinks its from another guy. Come on, you get mad at me (the birthday girl) because you forget and someone else remembers? To make matters worse, I had a road trip planned and now he doesn't want to go? Well its his lost, not mine. I know I am special, he doesn't realize this. We just need to continue with life. He doesn't remember=he doesn't think your an important part of your life. :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): my boyfriend of 6 years gets my birthday mixed up with two days before and after! i cant believe he doesnt even know when my birthday is. we are in a long distance relationship now and i have a horrible feeling that he never knew when my birthday was in the first place but just relied on me to remind him!It hurts, but once you decide to break up there is no going back. keep yourself busy, eliminate all thoughts of him and unless he tries really hard to win you back, dont give in.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): I definitely feel your pain, I told my male friend that my birthday was coming up and told him several times. Ours is a long distance relationship so I told him several times and the day of my birthday came and there was no card or call. It wasn't until 2 days later that we spoke and when I questioned why he had not done anything he made me to feel like the bad one. I am guy but let me tell you guys are the worse. Well I guess not all guys I already have his care package ready and his birthday is in may. Some guys are just like that you need to decide if you want to stick around or just not even bother.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): Break up with him. He's not worth it. Either that, or guys are just innately stupid. Dont expect us to remember stuff like that because we don't think it's important.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): well my boyfriend was the first to wish me a happy birthday, exactly midnight on skype.I only saw it the next day!!..so when i thanked him and waiting for him to say to celebrate that evenig,he said we would celebrate both our birthday's in a months time...that he was so busy getting his luggage ready to leave on the folowing monday, quess what on st. valentines day..for cuba,and all by himself...i did not bother to react! his not worthy of me...
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): same here.My hubby always forgets my birthday and other our special days After some years,I get used to it but it still hurts...,they remember what they want to remember.that is it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): A lot of men are basically selfish, childish and lazy. They could remember but they chose not to. Funny--they always remember the day and time of their favorite football game on TV. They only remember what they feel like remembering. It might take some effort to remember your birthday and that's not what lazy, selfish children i.e.men feel like doing. And the whole thing about "reminding" them? Children need to be reminded to pick up their socks and remember birthdays. Adults remember. Men just need to GROW UP!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): I more than know what you are going through. My ex never did anything for me on special occasions. Now I'm with my high school sweetheart since last spring and we have never once gone to the movies, he never acknowledged any anniversary, I got nothing for Christmas, I got nothing for my birthday on January 5th, and here it is the day after Valentine's Day, and I didnt get anything either. I spent alot of money on him for his birthday in January AND took him out to dinner, knowing I got nothing.
It's really depressing to say the least. My mom was joking around and told him before my birthday that my favourite flowers were lilies and hinted to him that it would make me really happy. He lashed back at me saying hes not doing something for me just because my mom suggested it. So, I havent said anything since.
I dont want to sound selfish, but I do more than my part to put time and money aside to make him feel special and I dont expect alot. I just think it would be nice if once, just once, he made me feel special.
WE live together and have a roommate. I am always cooking for them, cleaning up after them, using my money for groceries when no one else does, just really going out of the way to make sure things are taken care of and I get so down about these things because I just want to feel like I am appreciated and not taken for granted.
It definitely seems like alot of women are in the same situation.
I really dont have an answer for these mans actions.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): my boyfriend and i have been together for over four years now. he forgot the first birthday i had when wer were together and i didn't make too big of a deal over that since we had only been together for about two months. on his birthdays i call him at midnight so i can be the first person to tell him happy birthday and i try to make him feel special. this year, he forgot my brithday again. we talked about it the night before and i just don't understand how he could forget it. he works hard and i guess maybe he just worked really hard that day and maybe was distracted but it seems to me that if you really love someone you wouldn't forget their birthday. maybe i just expect too much though... i know it makes me feel really bad so i feel bad for everyone else who has to go through this too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): I broke up with my bf yesterday. We've been together 6 years. I got nothing for my birthday last year as we were on holidays at the time in tenerife and i let it slide. This year he sent me a picture of a lamp with the price tag in clear view and asked me which colour i'd like before my birthday. It was quite expensive and as my birthday is near Christmas i said to wait till the sales. I thought tho i would have at least gotten a card or gone out to mark the occasion. Instead we went out with his friends and there was no mention of my birthday. Christmas has arrived and i got no card, what i did get was 2 cds, 3 vests and a packet of socks. We were out with his friends on stephen's night and i got a bit drunk. He said i was rude and obnoxious and i called him a miserable c**t. I said alot more besides. What i realised is that for the last 2 years he has been living as a single man and socialising without me. He may have stayed faithful but not loyal. It's been a hard decision and words like pride, dignity, self respect are part of my reason. I put it to him, why i'd gotten no cards, and such lousy presents, he also refused to go to 2 family weddings this year. His answer was he doesn't do cards or weddings anymore. And my retort was he doesn't do relationships either. I feel bad for the people who got caught up in the cross fire that night. One of his friends asked who i was and boy was he sorry he asked that question but i should have aimed my anger at the source and not shoot the messenger, so to speak. So its "What now my love?" as Judy, Frank, Shirley all sang. It'll take time.
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reader, FOREVER ROMANTIC +, writes (23 December 2010):
 I was feeling so horrible this last week because yes my bf forgot my birthday last Wed, he didnt call, didnt text and on Thursday he writes me a morning text saying "Happy Thursday, how r u"? I was like WTF what happened to happy bday...but I didnt say that I was like what do I say? Did he forget or is he being sarcastic..so I say okay r u mad at me or something? He says no just thought ud be out partying how was ur bday evening? I was mortified. What the hell is that? But then it gets worse, instead of confronting him and telling him how I felt I invited him to my BDay Party the next night....Ya I did bec I gave him a pass. He didnt show up!!! YA but he said he would at 9pm ....so I finally said enough is enough if you cant remember my bday or show up your ass is toast, so I cancelled Xmas with him in Vegas and told him maybe he should invite whoever he was with on Friday evening apparently they are more important then I am. It SUCKS It HURTS but I know I did the right thing! As I read from other women, its what we put up with that makes a man keep doing what he does, whether good or bad! I just keep moving on and realize I am special and I love myself enough to NOT be w a man who doesnt Love me enough to show me...on my special day!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): My boyfriend and I have been together for more than a year and we are moving in together this week. He told me that his Ex wife will watch his kids so I asked my Ex to watch mine. I was erally looking forward to a special evening together.. But as the date approached, there were no signs that he plans to do anything. Finally, a day before my birthday I asked him if we are doing anything. He replied that he might be too tired (it is not a work day for him) and perhaps we should postpone it, not sure when. I cried for an hour after that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): girls, plzzzzz break up with a loser bf who forgets ur birthday! my current bf told me that if a guy cares about his girl, he will do the most romantic things for her. thats exactly what he did for my birthday , while one of his friend told me that he has never done it before for any of his ex-gf's ! so if he is into u , he never forgets ur birthday! and if he did, dont scream at him, just stop answering his calls, and dump his sorry ass like he never existed! its our fault , we just give away too much that the guy lose his interest !!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): Dear Leesac, I think you should tell your b/f that you want the day to be about YOU just like his day was all about HIM and ask him to pick another week-end for his kid. Not only do I think his ex had something to do with this, but I suspect he's using his daughter to shift the focus. He probably has no idea how to plan your birthday and this takes the pressure off of him and gives him the perfect "out". It probably wasn't all the ex. But don't fall for it. She can always come the next week-end. And as for the other recent posts; I think it's high-time we girls pay them back next time it's their birthday, just let the day go by and if he has the nerve (and he will) to say something, please say something like, "Oh I'm sorry, were we celebrating birthdays? I didn't realize it, since you totally blew mine off!".....Good luck.
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reader, leesac +, writes (11 December 2010):
OMG! Its sad that there is a site with so many of us ladies who are heart broken. Tomorrow is my bday. I was informed yesterday that the plans we have with my parents are now going to be joined by his step daughter. She is a little shit to say the least and I just know that his ex planned to ruin my day. He knew it was a special time and I dont see why I am forced to make her part of it. I made sure his bday 5 days ago was awesome. We spent the entire weekend doing exactly what he wanted I surprised him with dinner and gifts. And me well I get his STEP child. WTH I thought it was my day. Then to add to it she is staying the night. We live together in my house and whenever she comes around he stays at his moms with her. SO that means I wont even see him on my birthday morning and yet when it was his I made it a big deal when we woke up. So all this means that my bday I will wake up alone, wont see him until later in the evening and when I do its going to be with her. And to top it off she will go home and tell mommy and then she will start a fit with my BF. He will apologize to her and I will be even more hurt. I just want for once to be made felt special to get flowers to have him stick up for me with the ex and step daughter. IDK maybe we should move on. Its hard when I have loved him since I was 14 and I'm turning 43. He was my high school sweetheart and we got back together 2 yrs ago. I know he made his ex feel special when they were together but why not me? Or is it me? cuz he does have his moments. I know I am insecure and I dont know how to stop.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Oh My God-So it does happen to other people? Because today is my birthday and all my friends and people I dont even know and my Enemies wished me a Happy Birthday yet my own Boyfriend forgot! I was so mad.. I had been talking to him the night before and was like "I am so excited my bday is tommorrow" and we were even flirting about what I wanted for my birthday yet on the VERY day he hasn't said Happy Bday!! I cannot believe it.. I honestly don't get the point of being with someone if they can't even think to congragulate you :/
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): i can relate to you all, it was my brithday yesterday, i didnt get a measly happy birthday ova txt or even a phone call. i am so mad at my boyfriend. been together for over 2 years and he did not make any effort at all. i waited all day for him to say it...i am quite sad because he seems to remember his families!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): Oh no, I think there's definitely something wrong with that. Is he very loving other than the fact that he forgets your birthday? Perhaps you should talk to him, and say everything flat out. But make sure you sound sincere and reasonable, or else he might get the wrong idea... that is, if he's the type of person who gets the wrong idea. I wish you luck, hon. =)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): My boyfriend of 3 years spent the whole weekend partying with his friends for halloween and knew that I decided not to go out for halloween and celebrate my birthday when he got back instead, i had to choose halloween or my birthday because i have a midterm tommorow. he knew this and literally planned nothing and didn't buy me anything. and then when i was getting upset about it he said that i was frustrating him and "digging" into him to much and he had to go home. I believe that once as a girl you let a guy know that you will put up with the bullshit, you will take him back... that's when you give up your power and you set the dynamic for the relationship and you can never really turn that around or get it back UNLESS YOU LEAVE HIM.Which pathetic as it is, i feel like im in too deep to turn back now and get out of the relationship.I know that it is pathetic and sad really....happy 20th birthday...
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reader, Elmo4  +, writes (1 November 2010):
Hi girls! My birthday is on 4th Nov. I already got the feelings that my boyfriend will not celebrate my birthday again this year. He never celebrated my birthday. I felt so hurt. To avoid of being hurt again this year, I got a pet rabbit for myself last few days. I think I will not feel so hurt on my birthday. A pet's love is very pure. I will spend my birthday with my pet. I think unfortunate girls like us should have a pet. They make you feels appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): Yep, in the same boat, my fiance (dating 8 1/2 year,engaged for 1 year and a half has forgotten my birthday.Yet he remembered his ex-girlfriends b'day a few months ago. That's what hurts the most. Think it's time for me to take off the rose colored glasses, they seemed to have blurred my vision for too long.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): today is my birthday but am sooooooooooooooooo mad at my boyfriend of years he completely forgot my birthday, anyway, that is what he said.even when he saw the cake i made yesterday, am i being too needy?, am really mad at him
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): today is 2nd oct, my birthday is tommarow so its oct 3rd and my best friend who is guy, we did lots of things together.. i know he likes me and i do too.. we have been really a close friends for like 2 years and yesterday he is like isnt your birhtdya on 2nd oct and he is so not ready with anything to wish me! :(.. and that hurts so badly... and he is working both the weekend :( so i loose my hope that he wont do anything.. but den his birthday is coming after 2 days so its oct 5th.. what should i do? should i wish him and give a gift still if he didnt do anything to me???????.. please help me? should i or just do the samething he did to me..
ps: he knows that i like him
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): hi to all readers, its my birthday today and my bf completely forgot my bday but he calls me from time to time but not to gr8 me , but to say that he is sleepy,, we were together lastnight , i m waiting for him to gr8 me when it was already 12mid,but he only ask me what would be the date today because he has to visit his farm to look for his chicken for derby, im bymyself , while he is with his friends having fun gambling, ALLBYMYSELF i bought a piece of cake and gr8 myself a happy bday...
im still happy because my friends are thr to gr8 me but still hoping that n the last minute he will gr8 me,.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): I couldn't wait to find out if my boyfriend (of nine months) was going to forget my birthday. I had been dropping hints for the last couple of weeks, but he didn't seem to be responding, and having just gotten out of a bad marriage, I didn't want to be disappointed. So, my birthday being a few days away, I had my best friend call him and ask him what he was planning, so her plans didn't interfere. Needless to say (or I wouldn't be on this site), he told her that he had to confess that he didn't remember when my birthday was. However, he did say that he had already gotten me a gift, which I think he said so that he didn't look bad to her. He also told her that he would let her know what he wanted to do after he gave it some thought. But, he ended it with "Maybe we'll just go to the zoo or something." He knows I hate the zoo (little animals in little prisons depress me).
So, now, I'm in a worse spot because I'm really hurt that he didn't remember, but I can't confront him because I wasn't supposed to know that she called. UGH!! I dunno gals, maybe we need to take this as a sign that these guys just aren't that into us. Even my a**hole ex husband remembered my birthday. I agree with what someone said earlier, that if he doesn't take the time to think about what will make you happy every now and then - especially on your special day - then you should find someone who will. Because you are worth it, and he is out there!!!
In the meantime, we need to band together and raise our collective expectations, or they'll never change.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): Well, I think I have you all beat. Today is my birthday and I've spent it alone but it's because I kicked the loser who was a real creep to me on my BDs to the curb.
Anyway, 2006 - I called him on my BD and he hung up on me. 2007 - we weren't together. 2008 - we weren't together. 2009 - he refused to spend my 50th BD with me but DID manage to call me the day after to wish me a happy birthday. No card, no gift, no nothin'. Mind you, six months previous in 2009 I had taken him out for dinner and, of course, he had very expensive tastes and the bill was over $100.
Ok, now you see why I am alone on my BD.
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reader, anonymous163223 +, writes (18 September 2010):
yeah, it really sucks that so many people had the same experience.boys suck. my boyfriend of four months completely forgot todays was my birthday. We talked about it like two weeks ago. I didnt really even care if he remembered the day or got me a present, i just wanted to spend some time together. Last week we made plans to spend tonight together, then yesterday i msgd to confirm. Today i moved house (completely alone, which sucked) - then cleaned the place and waited for bf - till about 7pm, i texted him and it turns out he decided to go fishing with a friend instead. I just wanted to scream at him - 'But its my birthday you jerk!' I hate that he doesn't care and that i'm not special enough for him to bother about after four months. Boys suck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): It hurts to read all of these postings, because I know how painful this is, and I am sorry that you all have had to go through it. It does help a bit, though, because at least I know I am not alone in this. My boyfriend of almost 4 years forgot my birthday today... he is not the best when it comes to remembering dates & things, but he has always remembered my birthday before. He's gotten me flowers, small gifts, cards, taken me out to dinner... and this year, nothing. I know he cares about me, and this isn't worth getting into a huge fight over, but in my heart of hearts, it really hurts. It makes me feel completely brushed aside and disregarded, not worth remembering or acknowledging. It makes me feel like he has stopped trying to go that extra distance to show his love for me or do special things. I feel defeated and completely sad over this.
However, I do know that it is completely up to me in how I choose to react. I keep telling myself, it doesn't have to be a big deal, I should get over it and look past it, he is a wonderful guy in many other regards... and I can do something nice for myself today, I don't have to rely on him to validate me. There is still something inside though, that aches, and I'm working on making that go away.
To everyone who Googled "my boyfriend forgot my birthday", I know how you feel, and I send you giant birthday hugs on this important day. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): Happy Birthday to me... I don't know if it was the anger or the hurt that had me type in to google "boyfriend forgot my birthday". It is sad that a whole page of things came up for this topic. I have been with my bf for over 2 years now. Our relationship is very long distance and has been the better part of it. He is a marine and now in Afghanistan. He is able to email me and in free time even get internet to chat and cam online. We do exchange at least 3 or 4 emails a day no matter how busy he is. Today was no different. Emails were hours apart for the first part of today but then around dinner time he had some free time and we did emails back and forth with only minutes between. We chit chatted and yeah that was it.... He didn't ask my plans for the night or what I have done today ... worst was he never said Happy Birthday. The 18th is over for him now and he is sleeping he won't be up till my like 1130pm and the email will be one or two me just saying I am going to bed more or less. Maybe I am selfish I get so annoyed with working around his time all the time and I let hope get up that maybe today ONE TIME he would do his best to work around me..maybe sneak in on aim chat and cam to surprise me. He knew I was here and close to computer all day and it just hurt that nothing like that happened ... It hurt even more when no Happy Birthday came at all. Email after email and I even said that is all you have to say to me today before bed ..I got back I never know what you want me to say..ugh. Every email has a date on it ..he was doing inventory today and I would bet that also had to be dated ...ugh ugh ugh ....Do I not say anything now and wait till sooner or later it hits him or do I cry and yell in an email. I told him he hurt me and sooner or later he would figure it out which I know he will next time he logs into facebook and sees all the wishes my friends his friends even his mom said happy birthday to me. ..but why why why..why not anything from him??? How am I suppose to feel loved and cared about when he doesn't even remember my Birthday? This relationship is hard enough we don't have things regular couples do ..there is no hand holding no taking me to dinner no anything like that ..I would think the least he could do to make me feel special is say Happy Birthday.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): It was my birthday yesterday. The man I have been having an affair with for almost two years now has never even asked when my birthday is. I realise now that he's done me a favour and made me see that what I thought we had wasn't even an 'affair' in the loosest sense of the word-just casual, meaningless sex. Time to say 'Goodbye'. It makes me feel so, so sad...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): Thank god some people have experienced this before. I've been dating this guy for a month now and I really like him, a friend of mine told me that he knows when my birthday is and that he said he would remember. So when my birthday came along the whole day people i hardly knew wished me, even a club i forgot i even joined wished me. Everybody except for him of ALL people, when we weren't dating i remembered his birthday i was the first to wish him but now that we are more than friends he doesn't bother to remember mine? I don't know what i should do, of course i shouldn't break up with him he is of course the shy type so he needs more time and its so early into the relationship, i know it's childish but birthdays are the things that make up a person's life, and its important to them that people special to them can remember it and let them know that they care.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): My guy forgot my birthday too.My birthday is tomorrow and he is least excited..It hurts..He can be so hopeless. I didnt know. I even travelled hundreds of miles to celebrate his birthday with him last year. I am so damn hurt.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010): Girls dump these men because they are not worth it!! You will all find your prince charming some day!! And he won't forget your birthday!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): Well maybe sometime between now and the next 9 hours you'll get a big surprise. Don't give up just yet. When your climbing into bed tonight and the entire day is spent and you've heard nothing from him, then you can be upset. There's still hope he'll come through for you.....My b/f forgot my birthday 2 years in a row and then finally it clicked. He hasn't forgotten it since.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): Well today is my birthday and my loser future ex-boyfriend forgot my birthday. We he still has about 9 hours, but I've heard from his family, friends, etc but not him. He is out of town (same as last year) but is sending an email, sms, etc really that hard to remember. The worse part about it is that his best friends birthday was yesterday and he totally remember that one. I'm just so pissed off and hurt because I made a big deal of his last birthday and he totally forgot mine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010): i would like to give everyone here a big birthday hug cause this feel just sucks. it is the pits like nothing else. and, i see people used the word "embarrassed" to describe how you feel abt your boyfriend forgetting. yes, me too. like i don't want to admit i'm a selfish little baby crying cause i was forgotten, but this day is special. .... i have been dating this guy over a year, and he remembered my birthday last year, texting at least happy birthday and that he might come see me, but then canceled for a hockey game. but this year, after telling me last week it was his friends birthday and they were having a party, in the same conversation i told him that my birthday was this week. .... he must have blanked me out and not hear a word. ... my birthday came and went. then he calls me -- at 3am on a Saturday, and i havent heard a word all week. so i just said, oh aren't you going to say happy birthday to me. and he's like, it's your birthday today?? and i'm like, no saint patricks day, same as last year. and he's all, oh i totally didn't know. Happy Birthday! I feel bad now he tells me. so i'm like, i'm sorry i don't want you to feel bad. and he's like: don't be sorry, i feel bad, i'm sorry. so i'm like, well i made it up, that's not my birthday, my birthday is some other day. i don't want you to feel bad.
... then he was all, well let's hang out for your birthday. And i say: i actually have prepared a speech for this, here it is: i need to grow up and you need to let go. i thought you cared, but not even texting me on my birthday shows you dont care.
then my phone died. and that was it. i'm just gonna keep my phone off for a while. cause if he calls or texts, i am weak and will cry and go back and i don't want to be in a locked in crappy situation. i want him to care.
and he just can't be bothered.
hmph.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): ive been talking to this guy for 3 months now and when my bday came (jan 19) he didnt even text or call me! he lives far away too. i was so heartbroken because i really like him. 2 days after my bday and still no contact so i got pissed and text him saying "why r u being so mean?" he replied saying "im so sorry i havent been trying to be mean blah blah blah" then later he said "im soooooooooo sorry for not saying happy bday. but happy late bday!" wtf..so a week later i broke it off wit him. i wasnt going to waste my time with someone who doesnt show that he "cares". im still hurt but i feel alot better
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): I am glad to see that I am not the only one dealing with this. My birthday is today and my BF has not contacted me yet. He has been dealing with some serious health issues lately. What makes it harder is that we are long distance (about 4 hours apart) Since he has been sick, I was not expecting some elaborate gift, but some kind of acknowledgement would be appreciated! I've known this man for 18 years. We dated in college off and on 3 years. We recently got back together a few months ago.I acknowledged his birthday and I even sent him a get well ecard the other day. The time is 10:25 am right now, so I am going to see what happens....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): ugh all these stories just make me sadder!it was my bday yesterday and my boyfriend forgot. we have been going out for 10 months. the conversation about my bday came up last weekend, as i was dreading turning 25. he asked me when my bday was and i was shocked because i know i had told him. he responded that i had never told him, and i just dropped the conversation. i know that the following day he texted my brother to find out, this was two days before my bday. i saw him yesterday because he was helping me with something, but i didnt bring it up. he saw i was dressed up and commented on it, but it still didnt register. later on i texted him to let him know i was going to dinner with my family for my bday. he immediaely calls and asks me why i didnt tell him. he then blames ME for not telling him. im just so disappointed because i remembered his bday, but he doesnt seem to remember anything about me. im really upset!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): My boyfriend forgot my birthday the other day, too. I love how he can remember all these random stats about football and basketball, and he remembers Kobe Bryant's birthday, but he can't remember mine? We don't see each other every day, but we talked several times that day and he didn't even say happy birthday. I try to remind him all the time of when it is, and he still forgets. Maybe he just doesn't care about me at all, I don't know...
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009): Today is my birthday. Yesterday was xmas. I reminded him two days ago it was my birthday on the 26th. I know he hates the holidays and such and he said that I would have to wait for my xmas gift since he wanted to make it special. For xmas he took me around to his family for me to meet them. Made me feel real special. He lives three hours away from me (I'm planning on moving in with him soon), and we just started dating in September/October. He didn't want to stay in town this weekend because he needs to have a Saturday off to himself before he starts working Saturdays again. Yet no phone call today or text or nothing. After all the things I've helped him with and made him feel special. I know he feels confused at times since I'm his first serious girlfriend, but geez this isn't rocket science. Guys don't need to be this big of an asshole!!!
So I'm not going to call him until he calls me. Its only fair. I'm giving him his weekend 'alone' then. Bah humbug. Its just a really lame thing to do-to anyone. His birthday is in a few months, lets see how he likes it-even though I'll probably still make a big deal over his, its just the way I am.
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reader, Puffy Eyes  +, writes (26 July 2009):
I'm now 48 and my 43,44,45,46,47 and yes 48th birthday have all been forgotten. Every year starting about a week before my birthday I begin the process of trying to protect my heart for the inevidable blow it will be receiving. My 44th year in particular was difficult as this year was a very special one for me. My Mom's mother died on her 44th birthday and she was an incredible human being. As a result I have adobted the number as a momento to her and her specialness to me. It was a Sunday and my partner had a vehicle accident a few days prior and the repair of such was important for work and keeping the cash flow going. I let the day go as I felt I was in a position of less priority. Now four years later I am fairly secure in the fact I am not a priority at all. I have read several of the comments and have found several common factors. Hurt, embarressment and breakup to mention a few. THE HURT IS SO INTENSE and the embarrassment of wanting to feel special and being let down is hitting me very hard this year. It is not about the monitary things it just about romance and caring. I am such a romantic and crave for just a hint of it....a touch of the cheek or the picking of a wildflower would be sufficient. The tears just won't stop and it's two days later. I thought about forgetting his next year however the way I feel I don't think there will be a next year!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): Me too folks! I obsess to never miss his and built up the idea that he'd remember. A million other friends and family wished me a happy day and yet my heart breaks that he forgot. Ouch.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): If a guy is a REAL man and knows how to be in love, he will try his best to make your Birthday unforgettable. He will think about it for weeks, wondering what will make you happy and what will put a smile on your face. I've experienced both types of guys, the ones who forget and the ones that make your day unforgettable, and it really isn't worth settling for someone who doesn't appreciate you. It's really not about the guy...you should just ask yourself, "Am I happy with this person?" If he doesn't makes you feel special, why bother? There are plenty of guys that would worship the ground you walk on...so why settle?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): Today is my birthday.
My boyfriend lives abroad and I'm not expecting any presents or anything like that. I last spoke with him last night about how my family was here and that they were celebrating me. He even asked me what I got from them.
So, today is my birthday, and I've been speaking with him the whole day on MSN while working and when I got home I logged in again and continued to chat with him. Now, he has not said a thing to me about that it's my birthday today. And at first I thought that maybe he'll send flowers or something and just acts like he know nothing, but now it's pretty late on the evening and there is not going to be any flowers. He didn't even send me a sms! Not anything! And if he's kidding with me and call me to say something now I'll probably rip his head of through the phone.
I've been celebrating my birthday on my own, cleaning and doing the laundry.
Happy fucking birthday.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): As a male, I honestly have to say it's utter bullsh** when men do the "sorry, our brains aren't wired that way" routine. The fact of the matter is, when the person you love (or are in love with) has that special day coming up, it's not just a specific day that counts. How on earth do you forget someone's birthday if they're special enough to plan something special for. In this say and age of text messages, automatic email notification email (google and yahoo calendar), calendar and other reminder, there's NO excuse why he should not only remember your birthday, but also plan something special for you.At the end of the day, I do suspect that if he forgets your birthday, it is probably forming part of a trend you've been noticing for a while now. Has he EVER done something TOTALLY JUST FOR YOU, even though he might have hated it. Has he ever gone out of his way to make you feel special without him gaining anything?My man (I'm gay) and I have been together 4 years, and yesterday he forgot my birthday. I realised it's not just about the day, it's about what it means to our relationship in general.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear Sammi35, I do believe when men forget our birthdays there is an element of detachment; i.e they are not really sure how they feel about a woman even though they are with her. My b/f finally remembered my birthday this past year after forgetting it two years in a row. He also did something nice for me on Valentine's Day after blowing that day off for 2 years as well. I have also seen other positive changes in his behavior in this last year and I firmly believe alot of it was simply the fact that he had not yet made up his mind about me, even though he'd tell me he loved me (usually when I said it first) and we were actually living together. Like your b/f mine also had no problem remembering each of his three children's birthdays, his Mom's, and (God forbid) a couple of ex-girlfriend's. It has to do with their committment to us that's what it boils down to. If you're patient, he may come into his own at some point, and suddenly remember your special day without a million reminders. I wish you the best!!
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reader, sammi35 +, writes (16 June 2009):
hi I have had the same prob as u, sounds the same man lol... we have been together for just over 2 yrs, and my 1st birthday he was in bed all day and didnt remember , 2nd yr i waited all day and he didnt remember yet again, this has really upset me, he says he is just forgetful, he said he remembers days not months, but knew that my birthday was in oct just forgot the day, and last night i thought id test him so i asked him when his mums b day was and his daughters , he remembered them both, then i asked him mine ( thinkin he must remember this time after forgettin twice in row) he couldnt get it right, he said a number of dates, months etc, but didnt get it right ::(( what am i doin wrong, is it too much to ask ,,, mm an wondereing if he really does care like he says he does .. so i totally agree and sympathise with you, are you still with him and has he remembered since?? i am 35 how old are u ?
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reader, Daniela.  +, writes (28 April 2009):
we're on the same boat....haha..today is my birthday...and he completely forgotten about it...though we've been talking and texting last night...here's the nasty part....we've been together for four years now...gggeeezzeeee....i'm just sooo awake....being upset is an understatement...lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): I feel you!! its my birthday today and my klutz of a boyfriend hasn't even bothered to send me measly text message. The worst thing about it is he hasn't forgotten he knows about it we actually talked about it earlier this week. He can't plead forgetfulness as he has a very good memory. From where i stand , he just doesn't care. I am so mad at him and I guess this is my wake up call.... I am over and out. I love him very, very much but I guess I want to be loved too. And if he can't do it then so be it!!!!Now sob, sob, sob I am single again.
I know I will hurt like crazy but I will heal. One day this year, next year or whenever i will be fine. (sorry its turning out to be about me.... please allow me to indulge. I am miserable)
Hope you guys worked it out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): I have also endured that feeling of complete disappointment. My on-off boyfriend of three years forgot my birthday this past week. I've never, not once, forgot about his. It's not like I asked for a celebration, or balloons to fall from the ceiling...I just wanted a simple greeting. I basically spent the entire half of my birthday waiting by the phone. When I finally got through and realized he had truly forgot my birthday I was crushed. I cried and could barely keep myself together. We broke up-on my birthday! He doesn't want to feel 'guilty' about stuff like this anymore. If someone cannot remember the day you were brought into this world, that says a lot. I can never feel the same about him after this.
All I have to say is that people put up with a lot in relationships. To an outsider it seems almost ridiculous. I've bottled up inside the way he has hurt me so much-and it makes me feel a lot better that other girls have experienced the same pain. It isn't 'just a birthday'-love is simply being considerate of your partner. Thank god for my family, since no matter what I put them through they still bother to call and make me feel loved.
What am I going to do now? I'm having a redo-birthday, and this time I won't shed a tear :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): Perhaps it was an honest mistake, so give him a chance to make it up to you, but if not, then NO ONE has the right to make you feel worthless like that. Heh, I too googled 'boyfriend forgot my birthday' because I am so furious at the moment. We've been dating for nearly a year, and he is generally a thoughtful person, but it scares me that he honestly doesn't understand why I'm so upset that his MOTHER gave me more notice for my birthday than he did. Are all men this dumb?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): I can emphathise totally. It's my birthday today and so far my bf of 2 years (been living together a year) hasn't said so much as "Happy Birthday". He hasn't forgotten before but like a previous poster said can be very one-track minded thinking about his own projects all the time -he never forgets work meetings or deadlines or dates of sports games so why forget me? For his birthdays I make a fuss, get a cake etc. etc. I remind him of his family birthdays, buy cards on his behalf... I haven't put up the bd cards my friends and family sent yet just to see if he would remember. I dropped a heavy hint earlier to try and help him out but no use. I feel sad. Am I not worth the effort? Should I stop doing nice things for him every day?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): My birthday is today and my boyfriend forgot. Last year, he fell asleep on my birthday the stupid jerk! I am so upset and so hurt that he didn't care enough to even get me an effing card!
I'm so done...
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): I am 26 years old today and the only person i wanted to be with was my boyfriend today. WE have been together for 5 years and i end up crying every birthday. He usually remembers but i dont feel the excitement to see me, like i am always to see him on his birthday.i call asking when he will arrive and he tells me to have patience,so he usually takes his time , arrives by evening even if he nothing else to do. And even after he arrived on my last few birthdays i could not enjoy it. SO the days leading up to today i did not say anything and today i called him like usual but did not mention it. He did not greet me so i left it at that. i promised myself the past few years i would not spend another birthday crying, whatever happens...It is easier said than done. It hurts so bad. It is so embarrassing.Cant bear to tell my girlfriends.I know he loves me,I dont know if i will wait till tomorrow then tell him he forgot. i would like to see how he fixes this cuz this is suppose to be my special day and i cant keep crying every year.he has to come real good to make up for it this time cuz i'm not letting it go easy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): i too think iwas forgotten, he said he didnt' forget but that he was waiting until the end of the day, but why? his friend yelled at the phone happy bday to me and he said "oh ya i forgot" it really hurt my feelings because he was reminded like three or four days before by my family. i'm really upset about it its just a day but i have helped him get ready for multiple occasions (christmas mother's day his sis's bday) and i feel like he should at least make me feel a little special after all that i have been doing for him lately (loaning him my car and giving him money) this is my way to vent cause he told me today that i bitch too much
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): its my birthday today ... i got on to this message board after googling 'my boyfriend forgot my birthday' ... congrats! this message board is at the top of the list :) so.. back to the topic .. no points for guessing what i went through today :) and why i am here.. i am here to find solace in the fact that i am not the only person going through this hell... i cant figure out why this phenomenon of guys forgetting important dates / anniversary is a universal thing .. for us girls it just boils down to one fact..' he is not into me ' ... it hurts more as you get older and miss feeling special and wanted ( i turned 26 today ..yay ! ? ).. or just bewildered cos you were expecting simple and nice to make you feel good...well..or just not to try and make him 'remember', ok ..i am rambling now :) happy birthday to me !!
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reader, Seabreeze 51 +, writes (16 December 2007):
That dilemma might have several ways to look at it. If your boyfriend is truly not one for remembering your birthday but remembers Valentine, Christmas and other areas of your relationship then perhaps I would express to him your hurt and so that it will not happen next year you remind him that morning and tell him that you make the plan for your birthday and be ready to go if that's your choice. Next, if he does not do anything on other times it's time for him to find another address. If this is your first birthday with him but he's attentive on other issues regarding you hear him out let him know it bothered you; if his birthday has passed and yours followed with no acknowledgment I would probably let him go. Remember the way you start your relationship is the way it will be. If you allow him to forget in the beginning, or allow him justify his reasons, believe me he will continue the pattern throughout. There are plenty of men who are looking to spoil a woman.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): Soory to hear that. I just had the same exact issue with my friend. He's had 2 B-days & I went all out. It's been 2 days and he hasn't called me yet! I'm embarrased & don't know what to do either. 2 days before my B-Day he said we'll work on plans soon. I feel like an asshole! I don't even know how to approach everything. SHould I wait to see what he does then talk or what? I'm hurt. I hope you can work things out, but follow your heart. Deep down you know what to do. Look at the big picture.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): i feel for you and myself because i have been feeling same as you..my Bf forgot my birthday too we have been together for 2 years..last year i celebrated my own birthday and he tagged along..and never got me anything not even a card..so this year i didtnt even remind him to see what he will do and he forgot and he couldnt even bother to tex me until late that day..like you said my Bf remembers all other occasions very well of people who are dear to him..just shows that i dont mean anything..thats y i dumped him after my birthday xxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): My live in of 3 weeks forgot my birthday two days ago. He didn't hesitate to say Happy Birthday in the morning but then did NOTHING else. No birthday card, no gift, no flowers . . .
I am so upset with him because I have remembered every special event in his life. He knew it was my BD but chose not to do anything. Makes me wonder how far down on his priority list I am.
I can certainly empathize
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): What is the rest of your life with him like? If he is generally "unthinking" you may have a problem, particularly if he has been overtly and reliably kind to other previous girlfriends. If, however, he is generally very kind, considerate etc. but just stuffs up on the birthdays, then it may not be so simple. I am absolutely crap with dates. I frequently forget my own birthday and it takes one hell of a lot of checks to be sure I don't miss my wife's (did once when dating... got awkward). Don't know whether there's a "hole" in my mental processing or what. Same applies at work. I am in a high-up job and I am totally reliant on my PA's diary keeping. Without it I'd probably forget to breathe. My wife and PA both put it down to my mindset which gets "one-track" focused and once in a particular rut, stays there until "task complete" or someone kicks me. I know quite a few other guys who have the same blindspot/problem. They are all single-minded high achievers, but, like me, can really stuff up sometimes. We have benefits as partners/husbands, but we can be hopelessly "one-track male", which these days seems no longer acceptable....
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): Er, Why are you still with him. He forgot your birthday, you only have one of them a year. Get real! He turned it all around, which some people are very good at doing! I wouldn't be very pleased!! How do you know he did that for his past love? Was he so insensitive to tell you. You have to ask yourself if you want to carry on with someone who clearly doesn't want to remember your birthday.
Take care
xx
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reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (16 November 2006):
 To be honest, I think you probably are wasting your time with this guy. Firtly, he forgot your birthday, which is bad enough after being told many times, but then he turned the whole thing around and blamed it on you as you didnt mark it on the calendar! What is he....a child?! Seeing that he also did special things for his last girlfriend, it really seems like he is treating you as second best. Only you will know whether you want to leave him or not, but he sounds rather insensitive, and you clearly need a more sensitive loving guy. Best of luck.
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