A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend walked into this bar/club/seedy place.. Boy you should of seen the guys staring at me I felt like a movie star!! So any-way we go upto the bar order our drink, his talking to his friends we are all having a great time until these 2 girls started dancing and his friend comes up to me and says "if you had boobs like that I'd do what ever you wanted" so i'm thinking ok his drunk. The worst thing is my own boyfriend starts drooling over this one chick in a red dress she had an ugly face and no bra on just letting her boobs flop around while she danced. At first I thought yeh whatever I don't care but he wouldn't stop staring and laughing with his friend about her, I have no idea what they were saying but I could imagine it was something dirty by the looks on there faces. I thought hang on i am not going to put up with this so I said something "babe don't look at her like that it's making me feel uncomfortable" then he denied it and blaimed his friend. Next thing she enters the dance floor mind you she has a guy with her at the time which I'm presuming was her boyfriend, my bf starts walking torwards the dance floor where she was and he wouldn't even get on the dance floor to dance with me. I follow him like an idiot and try to dance with him but his eyes are fixed on her rack and I wasn't even in the room. I was so hurt by this we had a fight torward the end of the night he was hurtful back because he was drinking and so was I and I know i said some things and so did he but the next day we had make up sex. I still think back to this day and wonder was I excagerating or what he done was it wrong. Maybe I made a big deal. I trusted him before that night and now I am having second thoughts and even sometimes crying about it. He said he would never do anything like that again and he was very sorry. I don't know if I should stay with him. CONFUSED....:(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): "Boy you should of seen the guys staring at me I felt like a movie star!!"
So, you didn't mind at all when those guys were staring at you because it made you feel good about yourself. Irrespective of how you felt about it, good or bad, they stared. In effect, you were no different to the girl on the dance floor with the jiggling tits. Men stared at her, men stared at you. It's what men do.
She left her bra off because that was probably the only asset she'd got worth looking at. She was making the most of what she's got. What were you wearing that drew so much attention?
Your boyfriend can see your tits every night. He only got to see the outline of hers that night and it was a novelty. I wouldn't be at all surprised if your fella and his mates weren't taking the piss out of her.
Rest easy. This isn't really anything to have a big argument over unless he gives you cause to doubt his fidelity and commitment to you. When you're ultra-secure in a relationship you'll be pointing out to him any jiggling tits that he's missed! My other half does, bless her, but she knows I'm not going to do anything else other than take a look. In return, I accept her infatuation with Cliff Richard.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): I think he was very incondiderate of your feelings, obviously you were upset, you have a right to your feelings, but it is your responsibility to own them and make a decision on what you want to do about it.
He did reassure you later and promised not to do that again so you decide if that is enough to gain back your trust. If it isn't, give him specifics on what he needs to do to earn it back. Perhaps it is to stop going out to bar/clubs/seedy places and to stay sober.....but that is your call. Sometimes alchohol is the real issue at hand, a lot of guys use it as an excuse, but being drunk just removes inhibitions and people do things they feel like doing without thinking about the consequences.....in other words you make poor choices..........so live and learn and let bygones be bygones, unless of course the drunken behavior continues and then you might ask yourself if you want to live like this with an immature drunken sot.
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A
male
reader, 24yeahright  +, writes (2 February 2009):
Tbh it sounds like you weren't drunk enough.
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (2 February 2009):
 I think you should give him another chance, but keep your eyes open. The next time you guys are out partying where there are plenty of hot big-boobed chicks, just keep YOUR drinks to a minimum so your head is clear and not clogged up with alcohol and watch his behavior. If he behaves himself, then you can probably chalk it up to an isolated incident, but if he repeats the behavior again, you have a problem on your hands and I doubt you'd be able to trust him not to go home with one of those big boobed chicks sometime when he's out on the town with his male friends and you're not around. It's called lack of self control. Only time will tell.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): Well, he was certainly being pretty crass and inconsiderate. But, you said he was drinking and he had friends there. Sometimes guys "act out" when they are around certain other guys in a way they would not otherwise. Don't ask me why, I don't really know. But, if he did apologise later when he was sober, it is worth something. If you are really interested in keeping the relationship, you might see how it goes from here. If it happens again, it means it will probably keep happening. So, then you should consider moving on. All men don't play the "horny goat" just to impress other men, so there are plenty out there who would probably appreciate a gal who feels the same way.
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