A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, i'll keep this as short as possible, but it's a somewhat complicated, long situation, so here goes:I'm 18. My gf is 16, and I've been with her 2 years now. It is a long distance relationship (she lives in the town where my father lives, and I visit every weekend). I have known her since she was 11, and we have alway had a strong attraction for eachother. I never "asked her out", we just started talking every single day and night, starting on my 16th bday, and got serious immediately afterwards. After a year, we decided to make our anniversery the 1st of january, since it was after we started talking on my 16th bday. A little while after that, I find a myspace comment on a "friend" of hers dated 7 months AFTER we "started dating" that read "I'm so glad to have someone like you, baby, you're the best boyfriend".We talked about it, she said she didn't even remember it, that they had been talking when me and her started talking, and she was so sorry. I got over it.A couple months later, I find a message in her inbox to the same guy saying that we were on a break when we weren't. She said she knew nothing about it, and called "the only other person who had her password (her cousin)", and asked if she did it, to which she replied: "yes, i was trying to see if he'd flirt with you because my friend is dating him and she thinks he likes you". We talked about it, and I got over it.About 6 months ago she started working at a resteraunt, and ended up giving her number out to a guy. They texted eachother every day, 24/7, even when we were on dates, for a good three weeks before i told her that he was overstepping his boundaries, and that she shouldn't be texting him so much, especially on dates. she got mad and told me "he is just a friend". Then i read a message from him that said "we should hook up this weekend, go out with me friday." We talked about it, she told him to stop texting her, he did, and I got over it.Since then she has given her number out to several guys and about 2 months ago I told her that I didn't like it. She stopped, and I got over it.A month ago she let slip that one of her friends tried to kiss her right after our one year anniversary. I asked why hadn't she told me sooner than this, she said that she thought she had, she was sorry. I got over it.She still texts some of the guys that she gave her number out to, back when she had a habit of doing so, "because they're friends", and despite several attempts to meet these guys, she always has an excuse for me not to: "he's not in town; he's busy with school today" etc. etc.I want to fully trust her, I love her with all of my heart, but I just can't. Am I just being jealous? And how could I ever address this without her getting defensive, as she has in the past when i've tried? Please help, I need advice.
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a break, anniversary, cousin, flirt, jealous, long distance, myspace, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): Angel you sound like a loving understanding but probably incredibly dumb 2, no offence, but a guy who has a heart like this one that can forgive the girl he loves so many times, deserves a girl who will work her ass of not to break his heat, and that’s what she’s doing slowly but surely she is killing you inside, soon you wont be able to trust her or any other females for that matter, she has no regard for your feeling and that’s not right you cant be forgiving her and she keeps messing up, yea she’s young but what she does now reflects what woman she will turn out to be, and is this the kinda woman you want the kind you wana wake up next to every day? Don’t screw yourself out of a chance of being with a girl that will love you with all her heart and sould, coz boy you really sound like you deserve her, good luck with this I really hope you work this out and she catches a wake up, but only you will be able to decide if she is sincere or just playing with you, don’t let her break you, coz she can, it might seem impossible but love and distrust can rip you open and leave you feeling dead inside, so please don’t allow it to go that far.
Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): well after reading you post, id say you are best off finding someone else, you are both very young and its only a matter of time before one of you falls for someone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): She is young and wondering what else is out there. She will never be faithful because she gets too much attention from other guys right now and she's not about to settle on just one. She may have serious character flaws and is just a player (female "players" do exist). I think you should break up with her and get over her.
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