A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a huge amount of family issues going on. My boyfriend knows this, but somehow it doesnt seem to effect him and he goes on with his own life. This is making me really angry, because everytime I really need to confide something in him for support, he is either coming back from a friends or leaving to go to a friends or making plans to do something social.I understand that he cant stop his social life for me, but it just feels like Im a side issue which doesnt really factor into his life that much. Because when I ask him how he is, he never asks how Im doing. He just talks about how he had a nice day. It feels like Im all alone. Even when its a really bad day, like when my grandmother had a heart attack and he was at his friends for hours, it feel really fake when he finally asks how im doing when he gets home...and then I just dont believe its real
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 July 2012):
 Men are fixers.. the don't understand that women need to vent about things and don't expect them to fix it... just listen...
he may not ask because he has no way to fix the problems so for him it's better to leave it alone.
have you told him how you feel alone when he doesn't ask about your family? what does he say/do then?
A
female
reader, IamJess  +, writes (10 July 2012):
 I think you need to talk to HIM about this because until you address your issues with him he'll never know how you feel or what you think he's doing wrong.
Guys sometimes don't know how to react with things, so he might think giving you your space to handle it your way is better for you, its not that he doesn't care because that'd be really heartless but he might just not know what to say in these situations, girls are better at handling emotional times like this, and I think if you want him to realize you'll have to tell him what you think about it.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (10 July 2012):
He probably feels that there’s nothing he can do anyway, so he might as well get on with his life. That might sound selfish and perhaps it is, but you should ask him to sit down for a talk. Explain to him that you understand that he can’t stop his life because of the problems that you have, but tell him how unhappy you are feeling. Explain to him that you feel that you need more support from him, and give him suggestions as to what he can do. For example, do you just need a bit of quality time with him, to do something nice together and take your mind off of your troubles for a while? Or do you need to put some time aside where he doesn’t make any other plans and where you just talk about what’s going on? Yes you should confront him if he’s not been there for you, but you should also tell him what you need. Perhaps he’s not very good at reading clues, and needs you to spell it out to him, but give him a chance to put things right. If he refuses to make any time for you after that, it’s inexcusably selfish. Yes you’ll have to strike a balance and let him have his time to do whatever he wants, but If he can’t commit to at least one evening with his girlfriend who’s having a hard time, alarm bells should be ringing about how seriously he views this relationship.
I wish you all the very best.
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