A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hope you chaps can help me, i got into my relationship 9 months ago and i am deeply in love with my boyfriend, we have sex fairly regularly, but when we do he nearly always stops everything as soon as he has jizzed, like that's it he just tells me to get dressed and it's over even if i haven't reached orgasm yet, i've tried talking to him about it but then he just gets upset. Also the main thing that is bugging me about our relationship at the moment is that i cant be happy with how i look, im so insecure, i have little boobs 32b, and he likes celebrities that have bigger assets for instance Katy Perry, and i do admit that i look at hot celebrities myself and think that they're good looking or whatever but i just don't know how to cope when i don't have what he looks for in a women, that's just it i don't feel like a women because of breast size. I feel inadequate to his needs, like i can't forfil his needs. I don't see how he could ever understand how i feel seeing as there's nothing he hasn't got that i would ever want, he has it all. Please someone give me some advice on how to not be so insecure and paranoid about how i look.
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female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (16 February 2013):
 If he is with you why worry. the issue with the breast is not a issue cause he likes yours. As for the not paying attention to you sexual needs and pleasing you needs to be worked on. communication is important and both parties being satisfied also or someone usually the unfulfilled partner will stray and you will break up. Be vocal some people are not mind readers. Express any concern or issue it might bother them but then it can be acknowledge and solved.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (16 February 2013):
 I'll be honest with you: guys will ALWAYS be looking at other women. Some are more covert than others in their activities but we are wired to rate just about every woman's "bedability". It sounds like your boyfriend is pretty vocal about his attractions to celebrities. What he is doing, though, is voicing his fantasies. He certainly is not going to be sleeping with Katie Perry anytime soon.
He is sleeping with you though and regardless of your breast size it does mean on some level he is attracted to you. Also the fact that he's been with you for 9 months indicates to me that he is into you and there is something special about your relationship.
The way he treats you post sex is not good and could be indicative of an unhealthy relationship, however. The fact that he is cold to you after sex -- even if you haven't achieved orgasm -- leads me to believe that he is a selfish lover and probably doesn't care about your feelings. Also the fact that he doesn't want to talk about troubling things (and make them better) shows that he may not be a good bet for a future. Imagine if you are having problems now talking about sex what the future holds when you are discussing children, money and where to live.
I hope you take a good look at your boyfriend and ask yourself if this is the man YOU truly deserve. If your friend was dating him what would you tell her? Assuming he never changes would you be happy with the man in a year? This may be a turning point for you personally -- don't hesitate to consider all your options.
Eddie
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (15 February 2013):
 Two things;
As far as your boyfriend goes he's a jerk and you can do better. Seriously dump him.
And although your insecurities about your breasts are natural they are unfounded and groundless. Trust me on that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): "I'm sorry, my first thought is that you ditch the boyfriend just for being so neglectful and disrespectful of you in bed."
Exactly my thoughts.
OP he's a shit lover and refuses to even discuss being better for you. If you can't discuss things like this then they can't be fixed.
You need to dump him, he may seem perfect but mr perfect doesn't give a shit about pleasuring you. That's a deal breaker.
It sounds to me like you're settling for this guy because you're so insecure because there is no chance in hell I would stay with a selfish lover.
OP you're more than good enough to satisfy his needs, it's actually the other way around here and he just won't bother his arse satisfying you.
As for your insecurities, follow Tisha's advice, I can't add anything to that awesome advice.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 February 2013):
 Is this you? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-paranoia-and-insecurities-are-pushing-my-boyfriend34.html
Does he have any personal issues we need to understand, as in, is he socially awkward or anxious in any way?
I'm sorry, my first thought is that you ditch the boyfriend just for being so neglectful and disrespectful of you in bed.
Another thing that you need to comprehend and internalize is that larger boobs will not magically make you happy or feel good about herself. There will always be women who are more beautiful than you are, just as there are women who are less beautiful, by whatever standard someone judges beauty. There are as many standards of beauty as there people on this planet. You have decided to believe the current advertising standards for some reason.
Stop watching TV. Go do physically active things. Eat right. Don't drink sugary crap or artificially sweetened crap either. Ditch the idiotic boyfriend. Try that for a while. If that doesn't make you feel better, explore therapies that may help you. Cognitive behavioral therapy. Counseling may help, so may medications. Get your doctor involved, if this is an OCD type of problem, there things they can offer to help.
There are several books and links listed on my profile that may be helpful in getting your thinking patterns straightened out.
Good luck getting it sorted.
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