A
female
age
30-35,
*lizabeth D
writes:[MODERATOR NOTE: This post was edited for grammar only, and to make it easier to read.]okay so my question is why does my boyfriend treat me like he doesn't want to be with me? he doesn't do anything to show me he wants to be with me he only hugs me and kisses me when i ask him to and our sex life is horrible. he says its to much work! i know he doesn't cheat on me because when we do have sex he lasts like two seconds. no joke! at times he comes before he even gets it in! and i have attempted to leave before and that's how i know he cares for me because he cried and begged me to stay. we never do anything romantic, in fact we have been together a year and he has got nothing for me for any of the holidays! i love him a lot i just wish he would be more of a boyfriend to me. what do i do? how do i make him see hes hurting me and things need to change? i have talked to him about this too. i don't know what to do?
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female
reader, Melys  +, writes (4 November 2009):
 Hi there,
It sounds as though you're fed up with your boyfriend's behaviour...and understandably so...
It seems that although you've tried to talk to him about these issues, he doesn't seem to listen to you...and his only response was 'it's too much work?!' great response!
Maybe you should actually go through with leaving him..but go through with it this time - maybe that'll shock him into believing that you mean business and that he should start treating you right...
Hope it all works out for you...
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (4 November 2009):
 So the only way that you know he loves you is because when you try to go, he cries and begs. That doesn't mean that it's YOU he's crazy about or that he's going to change. It sounds like he's afraid to be without you, afraid to be alone. And maybe if you actually follow through with, "hey, you've got to be more of a boyfriend or I'm going to leave", he'll respond more and actually change.
This doesn't sound like a very fun relationship to be in, and you deserve a guy who is going to give you hugs and kisses because he wants too, and who doesn't feel like a healthy sex life is too much work and who will acknowledge your birthday or Christmas. The lasting two seconds things, well, maybe that's why he's not terribly into sex - because he feel like he can't perform well - but that doesn't excuse the rest of his behavior.
He just sounds like a lame boyfriend and unless he makes a huge turn around, I would just break up with him. If he's been hearing your hurting for the past year, I'd say he's had enough time to make changes.
Good luck, sweetness!
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (4 November 2009):
 you want to know what to do?
leave him.
do you want to be married to someone like that ********************EVENTUALLY***************?
If the answer is no then there is no point in furthering the relationship.
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