A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Me and my partner was in bed and he was texting his friends in a group chat on 'WhatsApp', I glanced over (we've all done it) and his friend said "I think I was in love" to which my boyfriend said "Yeah, I think you was" (this is about their night out they had at the weekend) his friend then said "you should have come back and we could have had a threesome with her" to which my boyfriend said "yeah I was up for anything that night".When I read this I was so frustrated and in shock, like what does he mean? I don't know how to approach the situation as he doesn't know I looked over at his phone.. I need to confront him about it as it will just be on my mind 24/7 if I don't.Any help or advice on this please?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2015): Wow. There is your reason to end the relationship. He isn't mature enough to be with someone, even if he hasn't done anything the fact he accepts he was up for anything is a massive red flag!
I wouldn't want an explanation, I'd just finish with him and tell him what you saw and how he clearly isn't ready to be with someone.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 September 2015):
 I agree that it's time to sit down and talk about some grown up things. Like boundaries, deal-breakers.
Ask him straight out of he isn't happy with the relationship any more. And tell him why. TELL him you saw the conversation and it made you question his morals, and the strength of the relationship and his commitment to you. TELL him that if he is looking to hook up and have 3-somes with his friend then you are not the GF for him. Because to you... THAT is cheating and ... a deal-breaker.
BUT be ready to stick to your guns. Which means if it IS a deal-breaker and he wants to do it, then end it and walk away.
Don't be so desperate to "keep" a Bf that you will allow him to disrespect your values and you.
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (3 September 2015):
I think this is something you shoulda done at the time .. but that doesn't mean your too late . I would sit him down for an adult chat and tell him that if he is unhappy in your relationship he needs to say .. banter with friends is one thing but that suggests to his friend,.well you never know ask me again . Tell him your deal breakers and mean them sweetie . If he's willing to lose you over threesome then he's not worth your time ..take care chin up
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (3 September 2015):
 Kind of hard to be trusting someone when they respond with comments like that. If it's bugging you then speak up. He needs to be told that he's now planted a seed of whether or not he can be trusted and you need to decide if you are willing to trust. A Suspicious mind will eventually drive you crazy
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A
female
reader, babalou +, writes (3 September 2015):
 You've seen the evidence, so confront him. Otherwise you'll just be sitting around with a man that you know you don't trust anymore and be angry at him.
It's definitely not appropriate that he said that, even if he didn't go through with having a threesome, but he's clearly shown by the message that he can't be trusted and would consider cheating on you. It may not have happened this time, but it wounds like it very well might happen if the situation arises again. In an uncensored fashion, he pretty much told his friend that he wanted to cheat on you.
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