A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend didn't get me anything for christmas. It's very upsetting since I spent lots of money and thought out each present. I even took our kids out to pick him out something!!! I am sooo freaking upset and just want some feed back. He knows it's christmas and I've already let him open one early (which was a ring).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009): i know how you feel. its the middle of january and i still haven't gotten anything. he claims he "has" it and is going to give it to me, but i don't think its ever going to get to me. the worst part is that i spent so much money/time on his present, and he seemed a little unappreciative, and i know it was stuff that he had wanted and would have liked. but he didn't seem to care. i don't know what to do. the worst part is dealing with my parents and telling them that he still hasn't given it to me every time i come home after seeing him. not a way to impress your girlfriends parents. i mean, im not spoiled or anything, we didn't have to exchange presents to each other, oh but wait, that was his idea in the first place.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): Huh...let me just tell you-my boyfriend did the same thing. It is very upsetting. He knew it was Christmas too....everyone knows when it is Christmas. So I cannot imagine what lame excuse he could possibly throw out, but he had no problem accepting the gifts I gave him. I am mad about it, and am seriously rethinking the relationship. If he did not think that I was worth going out and spending even a measley 5 bucks on something thoughtful, then there is definitely something wrong. I have been having trouble losing weight also, and I think it is because of the crap like this that he does. Well, I am about to lose some weight now. About 180 pounds....of dead weight. Anyway,
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): I know how you feel i didn't get anything from my wife but spent £300 on her.
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A
female
reader, kimberbooba +, writes (28 December 2008):
Update to all on Mr. Wealthy not giving me anything for Christmas. He called at 515am drunk and told me he was falling for me and in love with me. What? I discussed this with him yesterday when he had sobered up and was a little shocked at what he had said. He even said he was going to move closer to me. Why the mixed signals?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): I know how you feel, I too have been feeling bewildered and hurt the last couple of days wondering why I was overlooked by my BF this Christmas. We have been dating for just over a year, so it isn't like this is a brand new relationship. I guess what hurts is not the receiving an actual gift, but the thought and intention behind it. I spent a lot of time trying to decide what to get him, and I even gave my gift to him early because I knew it was something he could use...and he has been using it. I would have been happy with a card, a flower, dinner, anything given from the heart. I guess what hurt even more is the fact that I am leaving in a week to go to Iraq, and I really thought that he would have thought about that this Christmas in particular. My mom and sisters are urging me to break up with him, that he is showing his true colors...I don't know what to do, but I know I deserve an explanation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): Ya no I really was'nt botherd when my bf did'nt get my owt after I spend loads coz I love to give. But then when my friends go on and on boasting about there bfs prezzie I find myself lieing dreaming up the most wonderful gifts ever. It sadenss my to ask my self am I that insecure in my relationship?
All the best xx
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A
female
reader, kimberbooba +, writes (26 December 2008):
Thanks for all the advice on Christmas gifts from men. Mr. Wealthy did not give me anything from his heart or material. What a heartbreak! He did give his kids everything (though they are well in to their 20's). Heartbroken and speechless.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): Boots Of Spanish Leather (Bob Dylan)
Oh, I'm sailin' away my own true love,
I'm sailin' away in the morning.
Is there something I can send you from across the sea,
From the place that I'll be landing?
No, there's nothin' you can send me, my own true love,
There's nothin' I wish to be ownin'.
Just carry yourself back to me unspoiled,
From across that lonesome ocean.
Oh, but I just thought you might want something fine
Made of silver or of golden,
Either from the mountains of Madrid
Or from the coast of Barcelona.
Oh, but if I had the stars from the darkest night
And the diamonds from the deepest ocean,
I'd forsake them all for your sweet kiss,
For that's all I'm wishin' to be ownin'.
That I might be gone a long time
And it's only that I'm askin',
Is there something I can send you to remember me by,
To make your time more easy passin'.
Oh, how can, how can you ask me again,
It only brings me sorrow.
The same thing I want from you today,
I would want again tomorrow.
I got a letter on a lonesome day,
It was from her ship a-sailin',
Saying I don't know when I'll be comin' back again,
It depends on how I'm a-feelin'.
Well, if you, my love, must think that-a-way,
I'm sure your mind is roamin'.
I'm sure your heart is not with me,
But with the country to where you're goin'.
So take heed, take heed of the western wind,
Take heed of the stormy weather.
And yes, there's something you can send back to me,
Spanish boots of Spanish leather.
Copyright ©1963; renewed 1991 Special Rider Music
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2008): I feel your pain on Christmas. Why do men do this? I too at age 44 am sitting here thinking where did I go wrong? Christmas is about giving and family. My boyfriend is very wealthy and we spent last weekend looking at 20K watches for him not me. I really thought he wanted to see what I liked. No card, no call and no present today. Needless to say devastating.
I am sorry for you and me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2008): I wouldn't worry. It is actually a good thing.
In his world he is thinking all i want/need is this woman.
He reverses this in his mind and figures you feel the same.
Actually buying him something is a bit of an insult.
Next year suprise him with maybe just a santa hat and no clothes on and tell him you are his present.
An insight into the male mind... A Christmas present to you.
My you live long, marry, have children and be happy
Happy Christmas God bless
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A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (25 December 2008):
 Very insensitive of him but remember it's not over yet, he may have a few tricks up his sleeve.
I'm not sure what pvtguy means when he says "this is the mold us guys were made with: no gifts." Surely most men buy their girlfriends/wives Christmas and birthday presents? I always have, so do all of the men I know. I can't imagine that many women would put up with us men if we never gave them gifts and yet accepted the ones they gave to us!
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (25 December 2008):
 I was typing from my phone so... To fix my sp errors. do not show anger.. Do not blame...do not cry. Be calm and tell him how you felt by his actions. Good. Luck
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (25 December 2008):
I disagree with the male response. It is no excuse for him to forget. It is a lame excuse to say this is a male trait. What's done is done. You need to talk to write him a letter about him forgetting made you feel. In this letter do not accuse him or make him feel bad or guilty. Make sure it's heartfelt and should show any emotion or anger. Just straight facts and how it hurt you . Also back off in giving him any gifts in the future. He needs to think of you before you give . It's your turn to reciieve. But wait tip Xmas is officiallly over
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2008): pvtguy that's rubbish! Don't blame the fact he's lazy and selfish on being a man! LOTS of men go out and buy thier girlfriend/wifes gifts. Because it's fun, because they know their partners getting them a present.
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A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (25 December 2008):
 I wouldn't stand for it. Speak up for yourself-tell him he hurt your feelings because he didn't get you a gift and that you'll have to reconsider a relationship where someone cares so little.
So what if he gets mad and you break up....what did you really lose?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2008): maybe hes waiting to surprise you or see if you'll flip out? is this new behavior? no matter what, voice your
troubles in a calm manner to get to the roots of any problems. always put the shoe on their foot if they dont get it. im a guy and i know you have to just about hit us with a fryin pan to get our attention. good luck and dont let anyone ruin jesus' birthday for you or kids
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