| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I got into a fight. He was doing repair work yesterday on a ceiling in a building where his card club operates out of. There were two other men working with him. All of them volunteered their time. I got angry because he didn't call me or answer my calls or texts in 3 hours. One of the guys is gay and I told him I was afraid the gay guy would proposition him. I said gay men are known to be promiscuous. He took offence and told me that not true. Now he's angry and called me a bigot. What can I do?
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (3 March 2020):
 You are bigoted. Most gay gays, like most straight people, are not so promiscuous that they proposition any random person. You shouldn’t even know he isn’t gay, unless he has a partner that has been mentioned - his sexuality is none of your business.
Most people don’t answer their phone at work! Your boyfriend could say no to anyone propositioning him. You are bigoted. Apologise to him and check your ignorance.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2020): THANK YOU WISE OWL. It's the OP. I was waiting for you to respond. You sure did set me straight! Well, I will tell you why I have concerns. We once had a discussion on homosexuality, men or women. I asked him if he ever thought about having sex with men. He asked the same of me with women. I told him I had one female experience when I was 14 or 15 and it was purely experimental and never again since. My bf said he thought about it but then decided no, he didn't want to. I guess that answer for me was ambiguous. But the kicker is he thought about it. Do straight men even THINK about it? Also he loves anal play and stuff up his butt. He loves his prostate being stimulated by me. And he's open to us working up to the idea of anal sex. He kept saying he wasn't interested but he told me did do it with one previous gf. I've never done it but we've been trying to prep me gradually. Am I creating issues where there aren't any?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2020): Typo correction:
"I think your man can handle himself if he had to! Did you envision him helplessly sandwiched between two giddy-boys in skinny-jeans, unable to pickup his phone?"
Your boyfriend called you out. You insulted him by making it seem as though you're worried he might like other dudes! That's one of the biggest insults you can direct towards a straight-guy! Especially, when coming from his woman!!!
Unless you have solid evidence to justify your suspicions, you shouldn't blame gay-men; because your boyfriend didn't feel like answering your call! Mainly because he knew the silly reason you were calling!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2020): Apologize to your boyfriend, and wise-up! Let me educate you, if I can.
Did you receive an alert on your iPhone there's a gaggle of queers with stun-guns out ambushing and gang-raping straight-guys?
Girlfriend, get a grip!!!
I think your man can handle himself if he had to! Did you envision him helplessly sandwiched between to giddy-boys in skinny-jeans, unable to pickup his phone?
Gay-men do not indiscriminately proposition everything or anything with a penis. If you categorize, judge, and refer to people in generalities, or by stereotypes; it is bigoted. Even if a gay-guy happens to be promiscuous; most of them are smart enough not to hit on random straight-men using carpentry tools!!! There is a reason we use gaydar...to track-down only men who like men! That's a joke, it's a stupid stereotype made up to make people think we know one when we see one. Not always, because you can't always tell!
Then there is this insecure female-notion about straight-men; where they're instantly mesmerized under the evil-spell of homosexuals, making them unable to resist their sexual-advances!!! Personally, I've never met a single-one of those in my life!
Not all gay-men run around in wigs and high heels competing in drag competitions! We don't all speak with lisps, dangle our hands on limp-wrists, and work in beauty salons. You can't pick one out of a line-up; because all of us are not effeminate.
Let's dispel some other stereotypes while we're at it!
Just because a guy may be delicate, or have effeminate mannerisms, doesn't mean he's gay. Just because a straight-guy has gay-friends; doesn't make him gay-curious, bisexual, or a closet-case! He knows how to keep them in their place, he's comfortable in his skin, and he has no question about his own sexual-orientation. I have a lot of straight male-friends. Some married with kids! Some would be considered quite hot! Never laid a finger on any of them!!! Known them for years!
Gay-men can be discrete, super-butch, picky in our tastes, respect boundaries, prefer those of our own ilk, and we are not all out to steal your boyfriend!
What's the matter, do you suspect your boyfriend of being bisexual? Just because he didn't jump when you blew-up his phone??? Maybe he was busy working, and knows you well enough to realize why you were calling him so much!
We gay-men do have a workable brain, we can control our impulses, we are often more picky about the men we are attracted to than women; and we prefer guys who want us the same-way we want them! We'd rather they didn't have wives, girlfriends, or other boyfriends!
Got-it?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (2 March 2020):
 Is this post for real? Your age is listed as being an adult.
You boyfriend was correct in calling you a bigot. He missed out a few that would have fit the occasion, whiney, needy, selfish and ignorant.
Maybe he can get past your behaviour, in his place I would be seriously reconsidering any relationship with you.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (1 March 2020):
 P.S. I think your boyfriend was very restrained in only calling you a bigot. In his shoes I would have called you a lot worse and ended the relationship on the spot.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (1 March 2020):
Is this post for real or from a troll? Surely nobody is THIS ignorant?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2020): Is this post real?
Firstly you get angry he doesn't respond to you within your given time frame, even though he's busy and then you imagine that ALL gay men cant wait to proposition any man they meet! Don't be so ridiculous.
I suspect that you imagine that he was having sex with this gay guy because he didn't respond to your calls/texts.
You're insecure and demanding. You want him to reassure you of all times of the day that he is not having sex with someone else and you think that by keeping tabs on him, you will get that kind of reassurance.
I would think that this kind of behaviour and mindset you are exhibiting, that you are most likely going to drive him away.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 March 2020):
 What a ridiculous statement!
I think you should apologize for two reasons.
You can't brush ALL gay men with the same brush and you showed more than bigotry with your comments, it shows how little you think of him, how little you respect him.
And let's for a moment consider how PATRONIZING that statement is!
IF he is straight and gay man proposition him, don't you think he is "man enough" or "straight enough" to say no, thanks I'm not interested or into men?
SMH
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2020): He was busy working on a ceiling which I'm sure entails climbing up a ladder. He probably didn't feel like climbing up and down to answer your calls and texts. That would be inconvenient at the least and annoying at the most. What was so urgent that you felt the need to call and text so many times?
Do you have any solid evidence that gay men are any more promiscuous than straight men? Do you not trust your boyfriend? I see no reason why you would make such a statement.
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