A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I am hurting at the moment. My boyfreind has broken my trust and has done teh worst thing any one could ever do to me. I though he was a good guy. I told him about my past sexual abuse by father and he told his famly about it. I can belive he did. he told me that he did it. he says he is really sorry and that it was a mistake, he said he needed soemone to talk to about it but why would he tell his mum, dad, and two sisters and he told a close freind as well?! he tells me that he loves me and cant bear to be away from me but i dont think i can ever forgive him for this. In will never be able tof ace his family now anyway. what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BeautifulCapricorn  +, writes (22 October 2010):
dont break up with him. He loves u. The news hit him so bad that he had to tell someone ... if anything U need to open up more about this because u dont know if ur father did this to someone else ... speaking about what hurts, helps relieve the pain
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Did he have bad intent when he told them? It doesn't sound like her purposefully tried to hurt you. What you told him is a very big deal, but unfortunately only someone in your position knows EXACTLY how big it is. Someone like him has no experience with this and he may need some people to talk to. Also, as rough as it was for you, he may not understand the scale of how major this is to you.
Most likely he really does love you and didn't mean to hurt you. As a side note, have you really talked to anybody about what happened between you and your dad? How many people know? (not including the newest people). Getting this out and in the open and not keeping it to yourself is actually healthy. I know it's difficult for you, but this isn't a burden you need to carry all by yourself. You were a victim. It wasn't your fault.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (21 October 2010):
 maybe he did it because he didnt know how to handle the information?
When someone we love tells us that they have been hurt in such a terrible way, often it is difficult to handle and comprehend. Its not just a piece of information, it brings with it a huge amount of responsibility on his part, and that of his family. One wrong word could upset you and make you upset - maybe he wanted to let everyone know so they didnt put their foot in it?
Perhaps he needed someone to talk to about it - how HE feels about it. I know you are hurting and have been through a terrible thing, but you have just dropped a bombshell on him. A lot of guys cant deal with the fact their girlfriends have been abused. It hurts them, the fact that the girl they love has been hurt so badly.
What he did was wrong, but it sounds like he really loves you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): Alright! its not like he cheated on you or anything? But i understand how you can be upset...but its nothing to break up over and you just need to talk to him and tell him that your upset that he broke your promise!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): Was your father punished for what he did? Sometimes when people are given an unexpectedly large burden to hold onto they have to tell other people to relieve the weight of stress and gain advice, unfortunately your boyfriend told one too mAnY people , and so it is really up to you if you dump him or not.
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