A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my bf love each other like mad.we are in a ldr since two years.recently we gave entrance exams and i and my bf got selected to the same college.but my bf doesnt want to come.he said he will drop this year and will try for some better college.i tried to convince him that this is also a good college but he isn't listening.earlier he used to tell me that he can sacrifice anything for me and if we got selected in the same college he would definetly go with me.now he has changed his opinion.actually,if we would have gone together then we would have stayed together for 5 years!!but he doesnt want to come along.m badly hurt and depressed.i dont know how to react to this situation?i know carrier is important but he himself said that we will be together and no matter what happens he wil be going with me.but now he is not.i fail to understand the word love.what to do?its killing me from inside;(
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey you people are righthe has finance problem.he is from a very very middle class family and his family cant afford it.anyways thanks for your advice.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 May 2011):
 Is his true reasoning that he wants a better college or can he not afford the one you both got selected too?
Either way, your main focus should be your education. I know it's hard, but you HAVE to think of you and your future first. (same as he is doing).
I can't see any reason why he wouldn't want to be at the same college as you (unless his family can't afford it) -if it's not about money, then I would assume is has to do with something else in HIS life.
Do your family know about him? Does his family know about you? Do they approve?
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A
male
reader, krit +, writes (13 May 2011):
 If you really care for him than you have to let him go. Don't force him to change his desision if he doesn't wants too. True nature of love is to sacrifice some of your desires for a little happiness of the other and if he values you than he would compromise his Little happiness for some of your desires.So it's much more see- saw where you have to maintain a right balance so that the other doesn't falls down.
Im not a big fan of LDR's. But since you had already been in one from last couple of years so must hav got the idea of how to maintain it through college also. It could be difficult but NOT impossible. So it completly depends on how willing you are to take it forward. You are moving away and he's staying. Droping out for college is not the easiest thing to do. It would drain him from inside and would rake most of his time and energy. So be prepared for it.
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A
female
reader, confuzzled_in_cville +, writes (13 May 2011):
He may be motivated by finances and may want to wait, or decide to get an a.a then transfer. I think he has faith in your relationship lasting long distance, and with a relationship with such long time invested I can understand the seperation may leave you feeling lonely. But as long as your proactive to keeping the connection strong it could deepen your bond. A test in a way. College is a seriously fun and maturing place and experience. Let the chips fall where they lay. In the mean time you need to have as much fun as possible with him while the time is still available and respect his decision. If he has another reason beyond this and it's something else then make sure he's being honest nd up front with his reasoning. I'm sorry he went on his word but he either has a genuine plan or he was lying to you then or lying to you now.
I was in a relationship with my high school sweet heart for 5 years and I know how inviting the story will be to tell your kids of how mommy and daddy got together but if you guys do break, your heart will heal. Enjoying being by yourself and happy and single will be a whole new learning experience but only when your heart heals. If there is a chance of reconciliation then try, my ex and I had a round two but by then I wanted someone he could never be, we weren't the same people. I still love him as a friend and would do almost anything for him but I'm happy where I am.
I hope you feel better and start getting excited about going to the school, the clubs, the people, the parties, new memories you'll make. Otherwise I wish you both the best of luck.
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