A
female
age
30-35,
*ndergrad29
writes:hello. i'm a 21 year old girl, currently pursuing my studies. 5 months ago, i met this guy in school and we became friends and we soon developed feelings for each other and 2 months ago we became a couple. he is my first boyfriend. unfortunately we know realise that there will be problems ahead of us when it comes to marriage as we both come from families of different religions and i am a few years older than him. i told him, that i will fight for the relationship and that if two of us are committed and fight for it, we could make it through any obstacle. he is my first love and so i feel like i want to make it last.however he replied that he really loved me, but cannot assure me about the future when marriage problems crop up. he says that if i can bear with it at that time when we have to be broken due to our families and religion, we can still be together. and that it was ultimately up to me.i don't know what to do!?? i want to live in the present and hope for the best as no one knows what the future holds. but am i being foolish?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2012): He is telling you subtly that he may have to bend under family pressure and not marry you. I suggest you move on as its unlikely going to come to anything.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 December 2012):
 Yes and not.
Meaning, in part I agree with you : happiness is NOW, it's today, nobody knows what tomorrow will bring, ... they say that December 21th this year will be the end of the world, lol !, what if they are right ?...
Then again, it all dipends from the size of the obstacles you are supposed to overcome, only based on the strength of a very new , young and romantic love.
It depends from where you live and your culture and family and environment and traditions and religion. It may not be right, yet it is so.
If you are a Catholic in Italy or Ireland, and you want to marry somebody from a different religion, you might get arched eyebrows and negative comments, but at the end of the day you can shrug it off and do exactly what you want, and you won't loose your job, friends, status, anything .
If you are Muslim girl in Saudi Arabia and you want to marry a Christian , you may lose your life.
You've got to assess accurately at which point of the spectrum the difficulties you'll have are placed. If it will be a matter of displeasing your families and getting the cold shoulder for a while, and feeling the guilt trip of having disappointed them - or if it means disowned and totally cut off from your societies respectively.
Love does NOT conquer all.
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