A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I lost my virginity a few months before I turned 16. Since then I have slept with four guys. The fourth one just happened about two weeks ago? I really worry about becoming loose and never being able to find a partner. Some of my old friends have slept with probably 12+ guys. I feel like it's too many and I feel dirty but some people say it's not bad at all. I mean, the past two guys I've slept with are always saying how tight I am.. but I just don't know. Have I slept with too many...
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2012): Pregnancy is usually what makes a vagina loose, not sex. And to be honest, 4 guys isn't that many, as you said, some of your friends have slept with 12+ guys...that's questionable for someone your age, not 4.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2012): The average number of partners for Americans is somewhere around 4-8. Your current habits will quickly take you far above average.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 December 2012):
 You don't become "loose". You might become loose after childbirth, but even then you tighten up again. If a baby can come through there, then you can handle a few penises without worry...
You wont become loose, and the only way someone can find out how many sexual partners you've had is if you tell them.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (3 December 2012):
Dear OP,
First of all, I agree with anonymous, that your vagina won't become loose because of this.
Second, I agree that sleeping with many partners doesn't make you a bad person or morally low.
But you need to find out why this makes you feel dirty.
Do you feel comfortable having sex like this, with the partners that you had? Or do you try to prove yourself something, given that your other friends had more sex than you? Is it your education or the gossip of other people that scares you? Or were your experiences not as good as you hoped?
I am very much for sexual freedom. So that we should take what we want out of life and be happy about our sexuality. But, I also see that sometimes, women don't have sex because they want to, but because they feel like they should. And if that happens to me (as it sometimes does or did) it makes me feel dirty and morally low. Because I don't do it for myself, but because I was talked into it or because it wasn't the right time.
Women aren't sluts or anything just because they have many partners. But we carry a higher risk of getting sexually transmitted diseases or becoming pregnant or not enjoying it physically, so very often women are more cautious about casual sex than men. It's just a fact and doesn't mean you or your friends have to be the same.
You have to find out what you feel comfortable with. What would you do if you wouldn't worry about anyone else's opinion?
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (3 December 2012):
 Vagina size does not expand with each sexual partner you have.
It's just a common sex myth that's spread to fear-monger women into preventing them from enjoying sexual equality and freedom.
The amount of sexual partners you have does not in any way reflect on your worth as a human being. No matter how many people you do or do not sleep with, YOU ARE STILL A HUMAN BEING, and deserve to be treated as such.
Your friend is not "dirty" for sleeping with however many people she wants to. Sex. Is. Not. Bad. And having sex will not magically make you into a bad person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2012): At first I thought you worry about moral side of you sleeping with too many guys, but then I realized you talking about condition of your vagina. There is nothing to worry about here.I had quite a few before I married, and then had a child, and my husband still comments on how tight I am.Just do the keggle exercise when you contract your muscles down there like when you want to pee and have to hold it in, and you will be fine.
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