A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi all. It might be a long one so I'm really sorry. I'll set te scene a little bit. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. We are saving for a house but are both currently living with our parents. A while back (probably 6 months ago) we had a fairly big argument. He had a bad day at work and took it out on me but I had spent the day alone in hospital and he hasn't even asked if I was okay so I wasn't about to stand for him kicking off at me so it turned into a big fight. I went round to his house to apologise and explain but his mother refused to let me in and made me leave. He then ignored me for a week before eventually giving in. We have since worked on communication within our relationship and are in a better place. Ever since then his mother has tried convincing him he'd be better without me. I'm no longer allowed to go to his house which puts a lot of strain on us being able to see eachother. Whenever I ask why she dislikes me he tells me she doesn't and that she always asks how I am yet everytime I ask to visit him he tells me he'd rather come see me. I don't think he wants to upset me any further because I'm currently suffering with depression. I used to visit him a lot sometimes even 4 times a week and I always thought she liked me so I'm quite shocked things are like they are. It's been like this for about 6 months and it's really bothering me now. My family are so welcoming to him they view him as part of the family yet I haven't seen or spoken to any of his family in so long. I bought them Christmas presents and made him take them to them but I didn't even get a thank you? Not a text or anything and it was sad after I went to the effort of trying to find things they'd like. Me and my boyfriend are in a really good place now despite it but sometimes it makes me question whether o should be with him? I just want her to accept me and be happy for us. I want to feel included within his family but I don't. I feel like I aren't good enough for him and I should go but whenever I talk to him about it he shuts the conversation down. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice for me or if they knew w way o can cope with this better as its really dragging me down. Thank you in advance.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 March 2017):
 Are you sure his family even know you are back together? It sounds to me like it could be your boyfriend that is lying and sneaking around. If this was me I would knock on her door or send her a message and tell her how left out you feel.
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (4 March 2017):
 Please understand his Mother probably turns you away because she doesn't want the petty arguments disrupting her household. Although when you had that initial big fight 6 months ago, he still could have come to the door, gone for a walk with you and discussed things outside.
To me he is still young, learning how to be a man, a boyfriend under the influence of his Parents house rules etc. Little would be kept a secret as a Mother can read her child's face; especially if there's been conflict.
However there is no excuse for her ignorant manners; of not giving you the courtesy of a thank you for the gifts.
If you have a problem regarding depression it'd be best to sort this out so that it doesn't drain you or drain any relationship you enter.
Now that you both are in a good place with each other, let's keep that focus and continue to improve things from there... Because nothing in the past you can change!
The question you asked; whether you should be with him really applies IF and when HE is not treating you right after 2 years.
How his Mother behaves he has no control over... so ask yourself, does he come to your defense, at least made an effort to arrange visits to his family to bridge the gap?
Perhaps you should be asking yourself, whether he is good enough for you!?
Take Care - CAA
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A
female
reader, fishy fish  +, writes (28 February 2017):
I think at this stage it's better if you have a meaningful conversation with your boyfriend and try and understand what's really happening with his family. I have no idea why his mom dislikes you and it's unlikely because of the day of the argument. Not thanking you for the christmas gift is a big statement and if anything it reflects how assertive they are to have no contact with u. You must understand why they are behaving as such and whether he's telling them you guys are still together or not.
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