A
female
age
30-35,
*laquempress
writes:My partner and I just got back together, and he has female friends and he slept with all of them. This one in particular that he keeps in contact with I really hate her because she was his gf before we got back together and she did some really nasty things to him and me. Mind you we have kids together! Anywho after she stole his car, it was over from there. He did admit that he was falling in love with her. I told him that I was uncomfortable with it because of the nasty things she has done to me while they were together. He has lied about keeping in contact and he lied about sending her money. He told me that I cannot tell him he could not have friends which is understandable however this bitch has called the police to our house and lied and said we were fighting, when we weren’t home but our kids were. So my question is do I leave it or leave him alone?
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (23 December 2019):
 Firstly, the fact that he is unable to forge platonic relationships with the opposite sex is a red flag. He also has lied and continued to keep in contact with people that he has slept with. Your choice of words used to describe her shows your level of resentment towards her but I don't get much of a feeling that you hold him accountable for much other than some of his lies. It's more as if you have to accept his excuses and move on because he doesn't give you much of a choice in the first place. His behaviour is full of red flags if we're focussed on just him and NOT this ex of his. He is in a relationship with you, she isn't in a relationship with you so you should not be holding her to a Standard, regardless of the fact that she seems crazy. He invited this craziness into your life by sleeping with everyone in sight. He lacks accountability, he is immature, irresponsible and has this hypersexuality that is a sign of deeper rooted issues. Do you leave it or leave him alone? Do both. If he is a decent father, he can be a father to his kids without needing to be with you. Sorry to say but he does not seem worth the fuss and IF you ignore the advice you've been given here, you will most likely be back here asking for similar advice, with regards to him, in the future. Let it go. You can do better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2019): He sounds like the classic-player; and you're just hanging-on in-competition with the rest of his harem!
Everyone is fighting over one insignificant little penis! He's probably not even all that good in bed! Usually these guys are total bums, but women act like they're crack!!! Maybe he's well-endowed, but that's all he is! A big d*#k!!!
You have kids? If he isn't your husband and hasn't settled-down to take care of you as a family...you're just his babies'-mama!
Now let me guess. You probably pay for his phone bills, he uses your credit cards, you work, you probably help pay his other bills, you buy his clothes, and you grovel on your hands and knees to keep him?
Girlfriend, please!!!
All he brings you is drama, angst, and you better get tested for venereal diseases!!! Why did you breakup to have to get back together??? I know...'cause you love him!" The idea of him being with any of the other women is unthinkable!
He'll sweet-talk you, make up, and come home. He has made his rounds with the ladies. It's cheaper living with you; than trying to pay for his own place AND child-support. It's also better than living with one of his concubines; and putting-up with your baby-mama drama! He always lands on his feet! Dirty no-count scoundrel!!!
Kick his sorry-ass to the curb! Use steel-toed work boots! Go work on your self-esteem, it has been neglected!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 December 2019):
 I'd probably leave HIM.
This isn't good for you kids, this isn't good for you. The only one getting something out of all this, IS him.
And while I DO agree that you can't tell him who he can be friends with, I seriously doubt HE would be OK with you talking to YOUR ex-bf and I seriously doubt he knows HOW to be a friend. Seems like he keeps his exes around for 2 reasons, 1. to ALWAYS have a "replacement" in case you two don't work out and 2. because he enjoys the drama and having 2 (or more) women fight over him like he is some prize. And perhaps 3.... Because he has absolutely no respect for you.
I have to agree with YCBS, You anger is directed at the wrong person. His ex owes YOU nothing. HE is the one who is making this DRAMA possible.
Get child maintenance and kick the asshat to the curb. All he is doing is adding stress and drama to your life and potentially endangering your kids.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (23 December 2019):
 OP, if you will step away from your situation and look at it with a logical unbiased view you will see that you are a pawn in his game and he's playing you. He's enjoying the attention from you and his ex and he will play you two against each other as long as you allow him to do so.
How is this guy such a great catch? He's a liar, a cheater..need I go on? If you were smart you would stop being so angry at his ex and the two of you would team up against him. He's loving and he's hurting you, the ex and the kids. Think about it. I'm not saying what his ex has done is right by any means because its not but he must be giving her encouragement for her to want him in her life. Your man is not innocent in all of this remember that.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (23 December 2019):
 OP, you are 30 - 35. This pettiness is for teenagers, not adults.
HE is the problem, not his ex. You’re blaming her when you should be blaming him.
You don’t think it’s strange that he has slept with ALL of his female friends? I’m all for being mutually, fully platonic with an ex, but to have slept with ALL of his female friends? Not for me and I wouldn’t advise it for others either.
He has slept with all of his female friends, he lies, he’s unreliable and yet you don’t blame him, you blame someone else. You should’ve left and never come back, OP. You chose a really dodgy man to be the father of your children and they’re stuck with him for life, so now is the time to make the best decision you can and leave him FOR GOOD.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2019): The fact is if you leave him you know he will go off with an ex, probably her, so you will stay and he knows you will, playing you off like a right goodun. If you opened your eyes you would realise he is no loss no matter if he goes into the arms or should I say another woman's bed but you are very much caught up in a game so this will continue.
Think about how and if this affects your children,if it does and no doubt in a negative way, ask yourself are you and them better off making a new start? He can still see them of course but are you honestly happy with this man? It's not about her, he plays you all off on each other...
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (23 December 2019):
 So, to sum up: he has slept with all his female friends, he has lied to you, he insists on keeping all these female friends - yet you focus your anger on his ex who appears to idolize him as much as you do.
Sweetheart, open your eyes. He is not the prize you think he is. I hope he is paying maintenance for the kids he fathered but I wouldn't be at all surprised if he is not.
In your shoes I would leave him alone - but not because of the ex.
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