A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Basically, my boyfriend wants to sleep with one of my very good friends. I wouldn't mind if that was it, because she is extremely beautiful, annoyingly so actually.. but it's the fact that he said that as soon as he saw her, he made a mental note to himself that he Had to sleep with her before uni is over. Everytime I spend time with them, I can feel the sexual tension, and I also know she wants to sleep with him cause she told me.I don't think either of them are above doing it.Nearly in the third year, and im planning on living with her,and I don't want it to be awkward. Am I being stupid + over reacting, because I know that he's gonna find other people attractive, he tells me who he finds attractive quite a lot. Sometimes I wonder why he's with me, when all he seems to talk about is other girls and what he's gonna do 'when he's single'thankyou very much for reading, i know its a bit lengthy and moany. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): Hey I hear you. my boyfriend is the same way. I just wish he would leave me alone if he wants to have sex with every woman who is not related to him. It makes no since to me either. and I to am fed up with him talking about sex with other women and how he wants to see their boobs and such. It makes me want to hurl.
A
female
reader, desiree1  +, writes (16 March 2010):
hi you need to cut him and her off because a real friend would not want to have sex with your boyfriend and a real boyfriend would never wanna have sex with your best friend you sound ike a nice person who just let peolpe get to you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010): your not over reacting at all.seriously, you deserve better than that, don't you think?and as for your 'good friend' she doesn't sound like she is!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): Get out of this relationship. Now.
They both are totally disrespecting you with their comments. This man is not considering keeping you in the long haul and living with your friend will be -completely- awkward.
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A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 Oh geez. You haven't seen any red flags yet?
It sounds as if he's treating you like one of his close guy friends rather than a girlfriend.
What the boyfriend and friend are doing isn't right, and it is VERY disrespectful. If I were you, I'd be out of there. No ifs or buts.
Why? Because he sounds like an A grade jerk who doesn't respect you. A man that truly wants to be with you wouldn't make disrespectful marks about wanting to have sex with other women (thinking about it is one thing, but telling your partner isn't wise at all).
Plus he makes remarks like "when he's single". It is so freakin' obvious from that remark that he doesn't take your relationship seriously.
You can do better.
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A
female
reader, SLH +, writes (12 March 2010):
Wow, you aren't reacting enough. Guys I have been with haven't even mentioned finding other girls attractive, but to admit to wanting to sleep with one! And I wouldn't want to be be friends with someone who would talk about my boyfriend that way. I would lose both of these people, I think you deserve better in a boyfriend and friend, they should respect your feelings more. The fact that he is thinking about being single, instead of thinking of a future with YOU, says he is clearly bad news.
I hope you figure out what to do about both of them!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): My first reaction is that you are not reacting enough. You are not at all over reacting. My first though is therefor to let him have his wishes, dump him so he is single to sleep with whoever he wants. And then see how long it takes before he comes crawling back. And to add in, it will be awkward living with your pretty girlfriend if your boyfriend is going to drool all over her whenever you are visiting.
However, there is a second option. Your boyfriend might just be unaware that what he's saying is improper. He could just be an awkward type of guy. Check his history with previous girlfriends, he might have been doing the same to them. And then to be sure, figure out how your boyfriend feels about YOU. Does he tell you? Does he show how he feels?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): Ditch them, NOW. Before you get ditched. Be the one who keeps their dignity. Act fast.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): there is a huge difference in noticing someone is attractive, and saying you want to sleep with them. The minute he told you that you shouldve kicked him to the curb. Unless you plan to be a part of his harem, kiss/kick him goodbye. If she sleeps with him she deserves him. Mal
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (12 March 2010):
 No your not over reacting.
First your "very good friend" is not a friend if she is trying to take your boyfriend from you. Wake up!
Second, if your boyfriend really loved you he wouldnt be commenting on how beautiful your friend was.
They deserve each other, you deserve someone who will treat you with respect and accept you for the person you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): *sigh* I have to agree, this is not on... serious talking will go on later I thinks. thankyou for comments :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): Hello,
He tells you about all th girls he finds attractive.
He tells you what he will do WHEN he is singe..
He tells you that he will sleep with your mate as soon as uni is over.
He is TELLING you that he does not respect you or love you. Walk away.
Give the mate a chance though, she hasn't done anything yet.
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A
female
reader, kayla20 +, writes (12 March 2010):
 the only person your boyfriend should want to sleep with is you ok so guys in relationships find other girls attractive but they dont act on it or give the impression to their partners that they are prepared to act on it thatd just kill my self esteem to know that my boyfriend wants to sleep with my friend id be feeling like why am i not good enough itd completely lower my self esteem because in his eyes i should be the best looking person in the world through his eyes.do you trust your boyfriend???if not i think you should think about finding someone who deserves to be with you and doesnt want to sleep with other people.also i think your friend is being abit unfair who tells there friend that they want to sleep with their boyfriend no one shes disrespecting you as well she seems like the person who would go behind your back and sleep with someone your with without taking into consideration your feelings.id be very wary if i was you of both of them because i wouldnt be able to trust either of them
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A
male
reader, PM  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 Sounds like you're already questioning whether your boyfriend wants to be with you and I think you have good reason to if he's constantly talking about his life "when" he becomes single. A question that I think you should ask yourself, is why are you with him?
As for your boyfriend and your friend, you have no control over their actions. I think what you should figure out for yourself is how you're going to react if they do sleep together? Is that going to ruin your friendship with your friend? Is that going to ruin your relationship with your boyfriend?
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