A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all!I wanted advice on what I'm hoping is a fairly common phenomena:My boyfriend of almost a year moved in with me 3 weeks ago.We have been at university together and known each other/seen/dated for 5 years off/on.I am getting increasingly upset, angry and just frustrated at things I wouldn't normally. I am fairly house proud and like things to be put away - not anal retentive just lived in but by clean people.All I seem to do is follow him round the house to switch things off, moves glasses or important paperwork so he wont lose it, move his dirty clothes off mine, answering banal questions which he could have found the answer to by simply looking etc.It's like living with a child!!! Are all men like this? Please tell me this is normal but he'll start sorting himself out!! He's 26, there is still hope right?
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female
reader, TaylorChu  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 He's living as if he is the only one in the home. You tell him ASAP that this is how the apartment is going to be. There is no sense in living in mess. Give him a spot that he can keep trashed all he wants other than that the entire apartment will be spic and span. If he doesnt like that he can move out. Your place, your rules.
A
female
reader, flyingskirt +, writes (8 July 2007):
hahaha you sound just like me with my ex. the problem there was he thought he was a neat freak and clean when he wasn't! that cause even more arguments. eventually i just caved and became as messy as he was. we got separate apartments and now he's a neat freak. go figure. you're just adjusting to each other. stop following him around the house.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (8 July 2007):
 This is what happens when you move in together, suddenly you realise there are things that you don't like about each other.
My husband is messy leaves shoes lying around, puts his clothes next to the washing basket and asks me where his wallett and keys are.
Now you can say something about this like i did and it has not changed a thing, so i have now just accepted it as one of those little faults and do it myself.
It does not change the way i feel about him and i'm glad he has not changed as i fell in love with him for who he is.
Take care.xx.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2007): Have you talked to him about it? If you do, you need to be reasonable and fair (even if you don't feel like it) so you don't just make him indignant. Don't tell him hes like a child, tell him you need him to help out a bit more and that you don't want to be the nagging girlfriend but you can't live like this because it's unneccessary stress. Maybe you could come up with a list together of what jobs around the house you are both responsible for? Or take it in turns? Either way, if hes not willing to help out then maybe living together was too big of a step for your relationship and it might be a good idea to reconsider.
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